what can I do

Hi @Leah3

Firstly, welcome to the Sane forums. I hope you find it as supportive as I do.

I understand where you are coming from. It can be very hard to get the words out. I too freeze and struggle to say what I needed to say. As much as I can practice it in my head, it still doesn't come out he way I want it to. At times I blame myself for not being able to open up to people.

Have you ever tried writing it down? When I need to say something to my family/friends I often write it down. I will just practice reading the words quite a number of times and then repeat it to my family/friends. Other times I will actually have the piece of paper with me when I speak to them and just read from it. On occasion, I have actually given them the piece of paper to read.

I too have those walls up. They are really really hard to push them down and allow people in. They might say that you are pushing people away, but I think more that we are protecting ourselves.

I'm sure others will come on board with more ways in which to help.

@Snowie Thank you for your reply. I have written it down before, but never dared to show any of my friends or family, and as for the built-up walls, I have done it since childhood, but I didn't see it before, but I guess in a way I was protecting myself, which I didn't see it like that, so thank you for pointing it out

but i will give it a shot with writing it and then show my friends or family

Would love to know how you go @Leah3 and if we can continue to support you somehow.

I love @Snowie 's advice. 😊 ive often not known how to bring up a topic with someone, or worried that it wont come out right or in a sensible order, and also do the "write it down and show them" trick. 🙂 used to even do this with my psych sometimes years ago.

Over time I got a bit better at it, but I do still often prep for conversations by writing down bullet point notes that I can refer back to during a conversation. 😊

Great suggestion @AlwaysMyself I love the dot point idea.

I will email my psych what I need to talk to her about before my appt. I can get in a session and just freeze. That way she knows what I need to say without me saying it.

@Leah3 just like if I reach out for help. I struggle to talk to someone on a help line, but can use the chat lines to talk to a counsellor.

I've had those walls up since childhood too. I sometimes think we make a protective wall around us so we don't get hurt again. Letting people into that space can be so hard and so terrifying.

Go gently with yourself, you are doing the very best you can.