Give me a reason to smile please

@AuntGlow I really dont know what i seek. I have these turbulence in my thoughts. Its been more than a month. Somedays i feel fine and somedays I dont. This whole month i introspected a lot of things about me, my ex, my career. some of those thoughts are:

1) When i was in relationship, i spent all my time on that person. I dint take care of myself. I realised i have an anxious styled attachment while she had an avoidant style. The breakup wasnt the hard part. It was how it happened. There were no discussions, just the announcement.

2) I have a problem of self confidence. Now after the breakup, its worse. My colour is also not white which makes me all the more conscious around people.

3) I really want to have someone in life but i am also scared of getting into relationship again

Now some good things: -

1) In last one month I worked on the revival of my career, built a personal website, published articles on medium.com and even applied for several jobs.

2) In this period i attended a lots of meetup groups (online ones) and in some of them, i even opened my cam and had a chat with the host. I am doing this to build my confidence

3) I also discovered spiritual things like deep meditation, ho'opnopono and some Emotional Freedom Techniques. There are some good retreats but unfortunately i cant afford them at the moment. but someday,
may be 🙂

4) I feed birds in my front yard every morning before i take my breakfast. It makes me really happy.

I hope sharing these things on this platform is fine. If not, let me know, I will delete the post.

Hey @maxsabar , what's your reason to smile today?

Thank you for sharing @maxsabar 😊. Not only are they OK to share, I think its great to. You display a lot of wisdom and self-insight in your reflections on your relationships and fears.

Im really glad you can also identify a few things that you have achieved recently, and a few things you enjoy too. 😊😊😊

Hello @maxsabar,

I can see you have done some wonderful reflecting here, both the light and dark. I also have an anxious attachment style, and boy, can it be hard to manage! But something that has been helping me is coming back to myself and rebuilding my connection/sense of safety within my own body and mind. I think this helps with self-esteem and confidence too, because you're working on self-regulation and inner trust.

And all of the things you listed afterwards, like your article on Medium (um, amazing!!), meetup groups, EFT, and feeding the birds are all fabulous examples of connecting to yourself. They all sound really purpose-led too, which is amazing.

Honestly, in time, I think you will notice how much these strategies are helping to grow your sense of self.

Maybe catching your self-talk will help too. So, acknowledging when your thoughts are more anxious or critical and creating affirmations to challenge the thoughts. We can come up with some together, if you'd like!

Anyway, definitely don't delete your posts, these conversations are perfect for the forums! Thank you for sharing. ☺️🫶

@AuntGlow thanks for reading through and for the response.

Yes i would love to craft some affirmations. Please help me with that 🙂

Thanks

M

My pleasure! @maxsabar

Okay, would you feel comfortable sharing some of your more critical thoughts/beliefs that come up for you?