Therapy Goals

Heya @MessyBrain ,

I was very interested with your post around your goals.

I've never really thought of recovery goals as smart goals, but I get the idea around it.

I'm particulalry interested in this long standing goal of yours:

Stop going mute when anxious (long term/standing goal)

What strategies will you eploy when you feel anxious to help yourself non go mute? I wonder if the goal can focus on the strategy TO use rather than reminding yourself of what you shouldn't do?

I know for me, if I keep telling myself not to do something, when I'm anxious, I find myself doing it more!

I guess for me, mine will bw around finding ways to organise myself and my brain so I stop forgetting things and just get things done!

Anyway, I'm off for tonight, but hope to check-in another time.

Hi, just replying to say I can relate to going mute when anxious. I had a period where I was mute for 7 months. It was quite serious (due to another mental illness). But what got me out of going mute was realizing how much opportunity and growth there is in being open to converse with people. It takes time, and I'm still not a socialite. (I still don't like talking to certain people and it takes me time to warm up to others). But once I got out of it, that's when I started to feel some fulfilment with my journey.

Everyone is unique and has different things that work for them. Just trying to empathize. 🙂 Have a nice day.

Fair enough @MessyBrain . I was just thinking that you mentioned it was a long standing goal so I was thinking whether it needed to be modified so it can be achieved. But maybe I misunderstood that it is a long standing goal beause it's something you need to keep doing - not because you haven't achieved it.

Hope today's better for you.

@MessyBrain The mute bit makes sense to me. I was silenced a lot, and had trouble at different times to get my mouth and frontal cortex to co-ordinate. Yes, pretty important for talking. I am much more vocal now. Honestly, when I joined the forum, I liked that it was text based. I wasn’t that good at speaking, but needing psychology over the years and being in the therapeutic hour, gave me a focus. Let the mouth do what it does without worrying too much what came out. Then I went back to singing in choirs which also helped. Maybe, now I talk too much…lol

I have that problem too. It’s like the words just get stuck.

I normally can force out a minimum words answer when I need to but not always and often it’s at a whisper if that. I am getting better, weirdly safe places are the places I do the worst. In public I mask and force an answer. I go to a treatment program for people wth mental health that I know is a safe place but I can barely get a whisper out whenever I have a new nurse or routine changes, even if an hour earlier I was full bubbly me…

What I find even worse though is I can do public speaking, I get anxious but I do it… I spoke on a stage to 500 PEOPLE I didn’t know more than maybe 10 of then, totally fine other than a couple times stumbling over my words a little… but a small group of people and they can’t even hear what I’m saying right beside me :face_with_rolling_eyes:🥲

@MessyBrain

my little brother did public speaking as a kid, in a very popular community program, also for adults. He developed a bouncy extroverted personality which was really different from everyone else in the family. He lived with foster parents from 6 months old.

It’s great you have done some public speaking. Keep doing it if you like. I did mine in the context of uni presentations but, missed all the marketing palaver, that sometimes comes with public speaking. The important point is you have embodied speaking clearly to others.

yes, the other questions of how much personal experience and spontaneity we have in daily life in our speaking… also who we are communicating … are essential aspects of human life.

if you want people to get notifications of your replies press the @ button and hypertext profiles will pop up.

over the years I have been in a range of groups where I have been shy and silent, but I also kept doing personal and professional development courses. Singing was the best way for me, however I also need to be able to move between being personal and general depending on the circumstances.

Hey @identity_seeker

I find it extremely hard to speak in group conversations. I'm waiting for an in, and don't want to interrupt the others.

I think I just discovered the root cause!! When I was young I was attached to my mother. When she was talking with her grown-up friends I would try and join the conversation only to be told to go away, don't listen to adults talking etc...