How can we change how police handle mental health and particularly stop innocent men being labelled as DV ?

Hearing you @ForUs88 and I am a senior and a woman.

Advocacy for healthy relationships, not idealisation of one side and demonisation of the other. Both sides are human. Men can deal with aggression from women in many forms. Women have to deal with it. Polarisation isn’t helping. Where were the old days of gentle friendly banter. Suspicion, doubt and fear is flowing into other associations. Somehow the issues are handled clumsily. Believe me, I am not for DV, of any kind.

@ForUs88 I don’t think we should demonize anyone but I also don’t think that many men are being falsely accused of domestic violence the reality is that most perpetrators of domestic violence are men and and we have a real problem with misogyny and male violence towards women in Australia. What we really need to be tackling is toxic masculinity because that affects both men and women very negatively and if we could get rid of toxic masculinity we would likely solve a lot of the violence problems as well. Here are some facts about domestic violence in Australia.
https://www.aihw.gov.au/family-domestic-and-sexual-violence/resources/fdsv-summary#common

@ForUs88 Well we might have to agree to disagree on this one but I do feel that in terms of facts you are misinformed.

hi @ForUs88 i personally also feel that false accusations ruining lives is a very extreme and rare case

i also find it a bit hard to hear about "real" DV - as i think that can make it harder for people to speak out - a lot of ppl never tell anyone after an instance of DV because they make excuses for the perp/don't feel what they lived with was real.

In terms of DV, even with evidence, there aren't sufficient resources to house, support and help those who experience it - and even the official helplines and spaces to rectify this have not helped or been there for a lot of people.

I feel a lot of victims fall between the cracks and being heard is really hard when one experiences DV. False accusations are understood to be quite rare.

Well, how's this for real.

TW: Violence, SA

Now my partner who has NEVER abused me.

Did that translate to everyone? Can you read clearly? He has NEVER abused me.

He is one of those innocent men. Now people keep trying to tell me what abuse is? Claim I'm not seeing clearly because of my relationship when it's them always getting information wrong? I am very aware what people clearly are not aware of us how blaming innocent men of DV is no different than the demage done when real DV is ignored.

Would everyone kindly stop misinterpreting my very clear question and implying I don't know what DV or abuse is or what is happening to more than just my partner.

I asked a very clear cut, informed question and have gotten nothing but misinterpretation and accusation. Speaking up for innocent men dose not equate to supporting real DV that has been established many times in this feed. But punishing a man for a crime he didn't commit, but is a crime that HAS been committed by SOMEONE ELSE on his girlfriend is a whole new evil.

They have taken and wrongfully, - get that? WRONGFULLY charged him when he is the only one to every treat me right.

Now when I try to sort it out and bring to light an issue that is clearly ignored all I get are so many hurtful accusations and no answers?

Is everyone just going to join those that insult and hurt me or is anyone going to help?

Does anyone out there even understand the words I'm saying? I came here for support, if you can't answer the question then don't post. I have enough on my plate without feeding off people that have the wrong idea from a very clear question.

Hi @ForUs88 @EternalFlower @Eden1919 @Appleblossom

I've just been reading along, and first of all wanted to acknowledge that this topic is often an incredibly emotionally charged one, and many people have either personal experiences or a loved one who has been impacted by DV, and by police maltreatment.

From what I can gather, @ForUs88 is looking more for advocacy support on the topic of police violence in particular, rather than discussion of DV and male victim-survivors in general. Is this correct?

I am feeling a lot of passion and sense that your anger is a justified one, as you are trying to stand up for someone you care about deeply.

It sounds as though there is also some miscommunications around discussion of general experiences vs. specific ones. On top of that, police aggression is not something specific to DV cases, and many folks here have trauma related to police intervention.

Statistics may describe trends but they are not always applicable. Whilst false accusations may be rare, they do occur, and the impacts of this cannot be understated. The impacts of toxic masculinity also cannot be understated, however it does not seem to be the topic of this thread.

When it comes to DV, ruined reputations, and police violence, emotions have a tendency to run very high. I invite everyone to take a moment to take a breath before continuing to engage in this topic.