KirSa_EnigmASenior Contributor
Anyone else hate their birthday?
I don't really understand how/when/why this started, but for years now I've tried to avoid my birthday.
Yes, there was an event when I was younger and had a bad one.
It'd be easy to say that was it.
But, I honestly don't think it's that simple.
There's an underlying belief that I'm not worth celebrating... that I don't deserve gifts, love, admiration, or even respect.
This plays out in many other areas of my life in how I see myself. Always working too hard to achieve something - to pay my own way (often failing).
I don't see myself as being as good as my peers, even though I suspect most people have plenty of self doubt, bad habits, and mistakes in their past. (Maybe social media is somewhat responsible for this skewed view of how perfect others are...)
Now, where did these ideas come from?
I don't want to celebrate my life!
The people who love me don't know me - if they did they'd leave.
Oh man... I'm not doing well today 😞
