Feeling worthless 😪

Hey @Yuinblackduck73 ,

I can certainly relate to the feelings that come with BPD. It's an absolute roller coaster of emotions - I hear that.

I have to say that that was my life a few years ago. And it lasted for about 15 years. What an emotional roller coaster! Up, down and round and round. I'd flip from one emotional state to another in the space of a few minutes.

I totally acknolwedge how hard that was.

So yes, I can relate to what you are experience.

And as a side note, things eventually DID improve. I'm in an awesome place now, but it took a lot of work and persistance.

Keep going. We're here for you.

Thank you for telling me about your story, it's hard living each day fighting myself or pushing people away.

How I see it is that you are coping the best you can - you are managing the only way you know how.

Do you have supports in place? Someone you can talk to @Yuinblackduck73 ?

For me, intensive therapy is what made a difference for me. To practice slowing things down instead of jumping to conclusions and being reactive.

I engaged in mentalisation based therapy to help me become better at mentalising @Yuinblackduck73 . This was over 18 months with both individual and group therapy. I never felt much change until the end of the program where I was able to reflect and say, "Wow... things have changed."

Sometimes, we don't realise how much we have changed until we spend time to reflect on this.

I found group therapy the hardest - but I feel that this was also where the work was done.

All the best.

SANE has a guided recovery program. It's not therapy, nor BPD specific, but it's an opportunity to be heard. You can see if this is something you are interested in. No pressure of course. It's free of charge. https://www.sane.org/referral

Hi @Yuinblackduck73

Sounds like you’re going through a lot. It’s great that you were able to reach out. I just wanted to remind you that you are of immense worth even if you can’t see it currently. BPD is an exceedingly difficult disorder to deal with. Things, however, can a do get better, but I know that doesn’t make right now any easier. You are not alone. All you can do is try your best. Right now, is not forever even though it might feel like that. Is there anything that makes you feel a bit better/helps you take your mind off things?

Thanks for the words of encouragement 🙏 I find painting is my escape, I have lost all interest and purpose in my life at this moment in time. But I try to get back into feeling like doing anything 😕 I feel worthless. Aboriginal art is what I do it keeps me in touch with my culture and heritage. But I even feel like I'm losing my culture and myself.

Amazing @Yuinblackduck73 ! I want to learn more and more abot Culture and Country. I feel like there are so many hidden gems I'm yet to discover. Thank you so much for sharing!

As for BPD, I felt it took away most of my later teenage years and early adulthood. I never thought I'd get out of the cycle of despair. But as I mentioned, various talk therapies really helped me so that nowadays, I feel like I'm making up for all those years that I lost due to mental illness.

It really is a journey of discovery and learning.

As you paint, I wonder if your journey will be seen through your art? I'm in awe.