Heavy

Hi @Eden1919

I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling, it sounds as though things are very difficult for you right now. I hear that it's hard for you to describe all of what you're thinking or feeling but I hear that it has been scary at times, so I hope that you're able to feel that the forums are a safe space for you 💜

Have you been able to share these thoughts and feelings with anyone else? Anyone that you trust?

And of course there's no pressure to respond, we'll be here when you're ready. Take good care

@Ru-bee Thanks i tried to tell my psychologist some of it but it is hard to find the words and i dont know I just cant seem to explain things properly and i am having a lot of trouble speaking too and i everything is just kind of too much and i was meant to see the psychiatrist but then they cancelled the appointment even though i had been waiting a month already and no one is really listening to me when i do try and explain things even though i am doing a bad job of explaining i just yeah and like i cause i keep thinking there is a chip in my head and it keeps taking my thoughts and it is complicated i am just scared and tired and overwhelmed and everything is too much.

I am still really struggling my head is all over the place and everything keeps freaking me out and idk how to explain everything I just like people are not humans everyone in this world is a shape shifting demon thing that works for satan and like when I say everything I mean everything even the furniture and just everything because they had to make it look real even though it isn’t and they are all planning to hurt me and my they put a device in my head to track me and mess with my thoughts and idk how to get it out of me cause I can’t ask the doctors to take it out cause they put it in there and they won’t take it out for me and they aren’t even real doctors anyway and I need the meds out of me cause they are hurting me and they are putting stuff in my food and nowhere is safe and idk what to do.

Hey @Eden1919 I've been thinking about you and wanted to check back in. It sounds like things are really scary right now and it's hard to know who to trust. Do you feel like your psychologist is a safe person to talk to about this? I know that it's hard to get all of the words out, but maybe you could work on telling them bit by bit, or show them some of what you've shared here, what do you think?

@Ru-bee Well I tried to write my psychologist a note this morning but yeah it is hard because I am not totally sure I can trust them either like to some degree kind of but not completely I don’t trust anyone completely.

I hear you @Eden1919 it would be really hard to trust someone completely right now. How did you go with the note, were you able to give it to them?

@Ru-bee yeah I saw my psychologist again and gave them the note and idk she said she was worried but like there isn’t anything anyone can do until I am able to see the psychiatrist which is a while away and ugh idk I am nervous to see them anyway everything is just a lot right now and I am really struggling.

Good on you for giving her that note @Eden1919, I know that probably wasn't easy to do.

It's very frustrating to have had your psychiatrist appointment pushed back like this when you'd already been waiting, how long until you'll be able to see them next?

@Ru-bee still over a week before I can see them I don’t know what to do anymore everything is a mess.

Here with you @Eden1919, things sound like they are really overwhelming for you right now... what do you need most in this moment? 💗