I am not doing so well

Hi @Zoe7

It was a bit disappointing tonight

I can't believe you have come over to the darkside also lol @oceangirl

Yes it was a bit disappointing... bit over some of the couples actually!

@Zoe7

I am surprised too lol

To be honest I am over most of the couples too.

I can't believe how immature Andrew is and discussing their relationship tonight how he did.

lol lol @oceangirl

Andrew really showed his true colours tonight - maybe we should send him a song - not your song though - that one is too nice for him!!!!

Guess what!!!! - I am not stressing too much about tomorrow atm - I am just going to take it as it comes and see what happens

Did you enrol in your unit today?

Have you heard from the hospital?

@Zoe7

I'm sleepy already tonight

I got really teary this afternoon

Oh sis @oceangirl - do you know why - or was it just one of those 'moments' when you felt sad?

I picked Andrew from the start I am good at reading people.

I am glad to hear you are not stressing about tomorrow there is no need to be, I am sensing some changes happening for you. I have a good feeling now.

I have not enroled yet, I was super tired this afternoon and still waiting to hear back. My previous therapist might have been away or someone at the hospital and that can sometimes delay them, it was a weekend assessment and they have two days of assessment to process.

For some reason I think they will say no, I don't know why but thats my feeling. What do u think ? @Zoe7

Most of the time I feel alone and I feel like I am battling on my own. I had some strong feelings and I thought I wish someone was here. Then as I walked through the checkout a song came on and it was the song I picked for my Pop at his funeral. I rarely hear this song and when I do its when I need my Pop- I feel like he is still with me. @Zoe7

@oceangirl I wish I had been there for you sis

I am sure your Pop is still with you - you were so close that he wouldn't want to be far away from you xxx

Those unexpected things - like songs - do really affect us - but it's also a good thing because it makes you think of the one person that has given you unconditional love - and that is a wonderful thing

You are not alone sis - you have the memory of your Pop, your Mum and Dad (although I know that is tough atm), Kira and your Big Sister - who all love you sooooo much xxxxxx

I think if they do say no then you don't have any decisions to make and that will take some pressure off you. If you still need to go to hospital then you can always try Nth Q - or NSW again in a little while. Whatever happens - you will be fine - I have faith in you

A lot of those changes are not just the meds that are working but this amazing person in my life who helps me to believe there is hope

@Zoe7

All good now sis

The song brought up some raw emotions for me and these tears are making me stronger.Remember my block I have - to me this wall is coming down with me feeling such raw emotions today.Don't worry I was talking to you in this moment.

For instance if they say no or yes - it will be positive because if they say no- I think if they say no it means they have faith in me. If they say yes they are all nuts lol. I am expecting t-shirts to be send to me. On the front it will say- How do you feel today? FINE- f***ed up, insecure, neurotic and emotional. The first time I heard that I fall off my chair laughing. I think the T-shirt will be well received at the hospital.

I just have to push on a bit and have faith and hope and take that next step forward (trusting the process).