I am not doing so well

@Faith-and-Hope It really has been a case of trial and error to find meds (and times to take them) that help. These last ones really seem to be helping to stabilise me a lot more - and I am not constantly feeling sick either! The biggest issue has always been my sleep problems. This has gotten a little better but still a major problem to sort out. If it was as simple as having something to help me sleep then there would be no issue - but I still have to deal with the nightmares and fear of going to sleep - deep seated issues that will take a lot to work through. Until this can be sorted I will not be able to go back to work. The problem with delving into stuff is that so much that has been supressed for so long is now at the forefront and I can't put it all back - really wish I could but that is not the reality. I also need to continue to build up more physical strength and fatigue is still a big issue also. Baby steps...

Try to slowly build up your stamina @Zoe7. I know you struggle with fatigue and I understand how that impacts your depression- I have similar affect re domino affect. I know you are doing all you can- well done. It is great that you have identified your triggers and you are coping better with them. I do know what you mean and get exactly what you are saying.

You could put flippers on to swim and use kickboard just a suggestion- then you wouldn't feel like you are drowning as such. I am not sleepy yet but you go to bed if you are feeling ready for sleep.

I do have some flippers somewhere - bought them for a kids costume - should fit my little feet perfectly lol!!! I would really like to get the kayak in the water - I'm just not sure if I have enough energy or strength to lift it at the moment. I might see if I can lift it onto the roofracks tomorrow.

I was proud of myself @oceangirl for stepping away last night after recognising that it wasn't a healthy situation at the time for me to be involved in. I do think that I am getting much better at that. There are still a lot of things that set me off but I am also being able to recognise the impact before it is too late and do what I need to do to stop the downward spial getting out of control (most of the time!)

How is your stomach tonight?

I will let you know when I am too tired and ready for bed - on the way but not quite there yet!

I hear you @Faith-and-Hope

I understand about WH's rituals and routines. That makes perfect sense.

I am glad to hear your year is shaping up to be quieter on the family front and you are able to take a breather and to find some time for you.

What are the ages of your five children?

I know you want to get the kayak in the water. Perhaps wait until you are feeling up to it. I am proud of you for stepping away too @Zoe7.

My stomach is worse tonight. Plus I have a headache.

@Zoe7 I have an app that might help built your stamina up, I can't remember if we talked about it already.

ADF fitness app- download it to your mobile phone. But before starting any exercise check with your GP.

That sucks @oceangirl - you're stomach has been bad for days - are you going to mention it to your GP tomorrow - plus a headache - not good.

I'll check out that app tomorrow sis.

I'm going to head to bed - tiredness suddenly hit hard - meds finally kicking in - barely keep my eyes open.

Hope you sleep soon too.

Catch ya tomorrow...

Kisses to you and Kira

You should have seen Kira earlier so much energy- I will bottle it and send it down to you @Zoe7

Goodnight @Zoe7

I wish I was sleepy too. Hopefully it will not take too long and I will be off to sleep too.

I think its from the liquid med and it should settle down and hopefully my headache will ease off.

Sleep tight

PS I have my cub beside me

Love ya

Catch ya tomorrow sis xox

Have woken briefly but intend to doze back off ....

Kids Ange from 18 - 28 @oceangirl.