At breaking point

Hello,

I’m struggling with trying to keep it together.

Here’s a back story, 2024 was the worst year, hell I’d even take to option to live through the covid pandemic lockdowns again if it meant 2024 didn’t happen.

My grandpa who was my Rock, my role model, the one family member I knew I could have a complete psychological schizophrenic screaming match with and still be stronger then ever passed away after a long fight with his health and then two months later my mother in law got really really sick and fell into a coma and developed locked in syndrome and that completely broke my parter and I stayed strong pushed the death of my grandfather down and powered through it for her, took all the time off I needed, drove her every second day 3.5 hours each way for her to see her mum on hospital but then it came to the time when all the medical decisions fell on her as the oldest child and it came down to turning off the life support system but during all this my partner was physically sick, we thought she wasn’t coping with the stress but we ultimately found out we were expecting another child. My partner wanted a obortion but couldn’t go through with it and now we are almost 12 since her mum died and her mental health is so bad but she can’t see it, she thinks there is nothing wrong and here I am struggling to take care of her and our three kids who are 5,3 and nine week and when she has a breakdown I feel like I am failing as a father, and a partner. I don’t have many close friends well at least none that I talk to or see as I stopped messaging everyone first and everyone stopped talking but the only escape I have is when I get to work but even then my workplace stress is so bad I hate being there and I don’t know what to do