Tillogram

Aww, thank you! @AlwaysMyself 🥹

I have started to explore the 'peer' element of my role a bit more, as I recognise the benefit in sharing too - because there is never a moment where I am reading what you share and can't relate to the overall essence of your experience. I always do. And personally, I think knowing we aren't alone in our experiences is one of the most healing and de-shaming supports we can receive. 🥰

I absolutely appreciate you too. And I am glad that our vulnerability as peer support workers helps you to reflect on your own ability to support (which you're great at!). I like that it helps to remove any perceived power-distance for you too. 🤩

Hello lovely @Till23,

How are things feeling for you tonight? And what are your plans for this week? 🥰

No need to apologise, I am always most active later in the evening anyway! hehe

Exercise really does help you, which I love (me too). How did sport training feel?

Wow, that's so amazing to hear that you found flow with clay! I wonder what it was about this activity that helped facilitate this space for you? Also... can we potentially see your progress? 🙊

Oh, what did you learn at the photography talk by the way? 🤩

I never feel obliged to respond to you, I enjoy our chats very much.

I AM! But I have shifted some things around for now and will look at how I can do things more sustainably next year... perhaps an ADHD assessment will help? 😂 Watch this space.

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@Till23 wrote:

Hey @tyme

One foot in front of the other.

Struggling on but I've got plenty of things to be grateful for so can't complain

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Fair enough. I guess I'm in that boat too. Just plodding along.

Please know you can reach out to us at any time @Till23 . I honestly value your input and I look forward to hearing from you. I'm mindful that you may want to balance this out with what's happening in the real world, so please don't feel pressured.

Just know you have a place and space here 🙂

I am just quickly logging in to forums, I do not login much anymore..

I don't really read posts if I'm not tagged any more..

I don't respond to group posts really..

Sorry, I know people post some really great stuff here and many people post things to try and raise people's spirits and engage them. I think that is great and there have been times I've responded and been involved in these coversations..

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Sorry @tyme @AuntGlow @AlwaysMyself @Shaz51 I'll post a kind of group response. Thank you for your kind words and having conversations with me. I have read your posts.

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Sorry, I know this is not upbeat or recovery focussed, But I wanted to give all of you some sort of response. It's ok not to respond to this, but I felt I should reply to your posts.

Sometimes it's a bit difficult when usual strategies don't seem to have enough impact @tyme..

I have been trying to do things in the real world, however sometimes when you are feeling certain ways like now, they sometimes also cause me to feel pressure, which somehow feels overwhelming, even though in reality they are not that big a deal. Then I feel bad about getting so stressed about small things. I have to learn how to not put so much pressure on myself. I'm fairly brittle at the moment, so I'm sorry about lack of recovery focus

Sounds incredibly hard @Till23 . I hope you aren't too hard on yourself and can show yourself some compassion. What I've noticed about myself in the past is that I can support others, but I struggled to be kind to myself. Do you find that too?

Also, what are things you can do to 'reset'? For example, in the past, sleep has been my reset. When I get really worked up, I turn off by sleeping and the next day, the issue is still there, but I have more clarity of mind so it helps me manage it a bit better.

Thoughts?

Thinking about you. Do what you can. No pressure to respond straight away.

Thanks @tyme for your response. I am not feeling pressured to reply, because I feel I need to do something, anything at the moment because right now I'm feeling a little bit like I might be on a bit of slippery slope. I have been saying to myself for months, once I get to some point (that changes each time), things will be better, but they don't seem to be. I do quite a few things to get me out of the house, so I don't think or ruminate, but I somehow always find time to do it.

I feel like I need to talk someone, but I don't have anyone I feel I can talk too and I doubt I'll call a help line.

Yes, I have often supported people on here, when all I want to do is curl up in a ball.

I can't just sleep, because I have to go to sport training tomorrow because I have to get some stuff ready for our Christmas party which is the next day, where I have to do stuff for the club, because I am somehow on the committee.

I'm so sorry to be like this @tyme

Hey @Till23 ,

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Do you think it is related to burnout at all? Both you and I know that doing things keeps us both going, but there comes a point where our bodies say, "PLEASE, no more".

Yes, you have often supported people on the forums, and there are time when we each need support too. You have every right to reach out and your feelings are valid.

I can certainly relate to chronic suicidality. That's my life. I was challenged in the pasy by my psychologist around this who said thoughts are not actions. At the same time, I know that any discharge is a loss. It's a grief. And it can be so scary because we don't know where to turn next. It's a lot for anyone to go alone.

For tonight, what can you do to wind down? I know you have a lot for tomorrow. So what would help now?

Do audiobooks help?

Thanks for responding @tyme and I see it's time for you to sign off. I will probably get to sleep ok, because I hardly slept last night, my sleep has been disrupted of late. I have done something every day for last 2 weeks I think.

The last couple of months I have had real difficulty watching a TV show, I haven't read a book for months. Thanks for chatting and sorry

Ohhh sending you lots of hugs my friend 🧡 @Till23 🥰

I am here for you always ❤️

@tyme , @AuntGlow