Tillogram

Thanks @tyme for responding to my early request. Sorry I've been buzzing around the forums here and there but I hadn't actually got to looking at this thread. I think I do that as a bit of a distraction and then sort of regardless of how I'm feeling, when I read other people's stuff I think well really I'm not that bad.

I am actually feeling not that good this evening and I've noticed the evenings seem to go like that, I start off not bad then slowly get more down.

I've been reading with interest on other threads about you and @Jynx stories and your recoveries from MH issues. It's great to have some positive stories

Always soooo happy to share @Till23

It sucks that you feel like you decline of an evening. It's something I know a few people here struggle with. Sometimes I wonder if it's cos nights are quieter - less demands on us, both socially and sensory-wise, means more room for brains to wander into darker territory.

Can unpack it a little further tomorrow if you like 💜

Thanks for your response @Jynx I know you are flying solo and you are busy here there and everywhere.

Well I don't really experience any change in social demands, I live by myself.

One thing is it's not light so I can't do stuff outside. Some of my physical problems get worse at night.

@Till23 very valid feelings hun, I am actually so glad you feel like you can be honest about it.

Something I do notice is that the forums move quick - despite not being 'live chat'. It can be easy for posts to get only a couple of responses - sometimes just a little stop in from a peer worker. This is not just a 'you' thing by any stretch! This is why our community guides exist - you are always welcome to tag them and ask them to help boost a post! Shaz51 is amazing at this, hehe

Secondly, compassion fatigue is a thing, as is carer burnout... you don't need to be working in the bizz to be impacted. Sometimes, it can be easy to overextend ourselves, because helping others feels good! But I myself am guilty of this too, of feeling overwhelmed by my own stuff and so pushing it down in order to seek that good feeling by helping others. It's not the same though when one is burnt out, and pushing past their own boundaries in order to help others.

I hear you, that you're feeling like you aren't really getting a lot back. I don't think it's anything to do with your quality as a person! I have always admired your vibes, and your values. Happy to tell you that any time these doubts creep in.

Time away can be helpful, especially if the rejection-sensitivity is extra high. But please know that it's totally your choice, and we will also support you in staying and building connections if that may help more.

Touch base again tomorrow - but yeah, hope this helps put you at ease and if I've missed the mark you can tell me that too. Rest well hun 💜

Thanks again for your response @Jynx I hope you are able to have a good break away from the forums until you are next on. No you haven't missed the mark

I reckon a fair bit of it is due to my current situation in personal therapy, plus I suppose I always feel overlooked. I'm the one in the shop that is at the front of the counter but gets served when everyone else leaves. I am short and female, but I seem to look insignificant.

I don't think I could ever tag a Community Guide for myself, because I feel I'm less worthy than others. I feel I should be able to fight my own battles or look after myself. So asking for any help is way out of my normal range. For example I drove myself to all of my surgeries and cancer treatments for months for each cancer, because I didn't want to bother anyone else. Not that I've got many people I could bother!

I have worked in health care and I've definitely been burnt out, I suppose even though I've retired I am still doing a bit of the caring role.

Anyhow, sorry, I just felt a bit down when I posted before. I will re-assess the situation. Some days (well most days for me) I wish I was never born.

Hey @Till23 Just been reading a little of this thread. I firstly wanted to back you up with the sudden changes of both the phone line and overnight moderation. This has been brought up by a few people and I can assure you that the lack of effective communication as well as the way it has happened has been communicated to the SANE team. Transparency in service (especially changes whether sudden or planned) is very important. Neither of these changes have been dealt with effectively or communicated well enough. I understand that sometimes these things happen suddenly and unexpectedly but that does not mean that communication to those affected should not be a priority. There also needs to be contingencies in place service-wide to lessen the impacts of those changes - something I am a very strong advocate for and I can see you are as well. Please do not doubt or question your thoughts here as it is very much an issue that has/is being forwarded to 'the powers that be'.

On a different note - Patience is a great show. It is available to watch all episodes on ivew. Here is the link https://iview.abc.net.au/show/patience I have watched all 6 episodes already and really enjoyed the series.

@Till23 , please tag me to the posts that may need boosting

Whoa - I got your message 3 times @Shaz51 !

I hope you are having a lovely day today and that you got a good night's sleep

I'm fine for tagging I can do it myself it I need/want to but thanks for the offer, I'm actually an introvert (although it may not seem it on here) so I'm fine with doing what I feel comfoertable with - but truly, thanks