Functioning with ADHD

@creative_writer teehee omg yes!! Watching my kitties frolic is so good, but to be able to frolic like they do? Ach, incredible, would that I could!!

I hope that it goes well, and that you don't encounter too many temptations!! French patisserie would be the one to look out for ahaha

Aye it can be SO rough, and it can even feel pointless at times. But every single time you are putting that effort in, slowly slowly like you say, your brain is changing!!

I shall say nighty night for now, hopefully catch you soon hun, mayhap tomorrow! 💜

Hey @creative_writer - aww you're a sweetheart, remembering stuff about me 😁 I did okay though!! About 6 hours, which for me means I can function pretty well! I accidentally left my heater on for a bundle of hours tho... my electricity bill has been skyrocketing 🙃

That makes a lot of sense, I think. Especially if you struggle with dissociation - your brain is trying to protect you from the pain. I think we do need to feel it (this relates a lot to my own chronic pain) but it's okay to do so in our own time, and when we feel safe to do so. My psych also spoke about how, when we've got trauma, it can make some nerves extra sensitive, so that they 'fire' more even when there's no stimuli.

Love me some sensory toys!! My go-to recently has been twirling chains around my fingers haha. Found any cool ones?

@Jynx functioning well on 6 hours is good, it’s amazing you can function on little sleep. I would be sent into mania with 6 hours. I’m super medicated, so it puts me to sleep, usually. Though I believe I’ve gone without sleep, or at least barely anything. Sometimes it’s hard differentiating between daydreaming and sleeping. Yes, I’ve daydreamed for hours straight and then didn’t remember what I was daydreaming about. It only occur to me I had been awake for hours when I snapped out of it.

The weird thing is I used to be able to do body scans without being triggered, but it took a turn. I also used to not feel so affected by trauma because I hadn’t accepted it happened to me, it felt like it was someone else. Other people’s experiences of trauma wouldn’t trigger me, maybe I hadn’t processed it at that point. I think I naturally distanced myself because I didn’t feel like I had the resources to cope nor did I feel like I could talk to anyone about it. Maybe once I process it more, it’ll become easier to feel safe within my own body.

I love squishy toys, I also like those harder fidget toys, my sister said I could have hers. I also have a ring, I got it to stop me from rubbing excessively at my skin. Blankets and soft bed sheets also feel amazing

@creative_writer haha everyone is different with their sleep needs hey!!

I mean... to me that sounds like dissociation? I am definitely a daydreamer haha been building little worlds in my brain since I was a kid. I think a lot of it was my brain protecting me (as an undiagnosed AuDHD kid without sufficient support) and I still lean on my daydreams as one of my coping tools.

I wonder if something shifted in terms of like... whichever part of you was keeping that pain compartmentalised has released it, so now it's all coming out? Not uncommon in processing trauma, that sometimes it can be years before we are able to process stuff.

Ooh like those squishy lil dumplings? Love those ones!! Anything that gets a lot of movement is good for me - like I hate fidget spinners generally cos the only thing I'm doing is flicking it then just....watching it spin. Like cool ok already bored 😂

@creative_writer Thanks for sharing that hun, it can be soooo hard to share those kinds of thoughts.

I can understand the logic. From my perspective, this seems like it would have all come out anyway. Feelings don't operate on logic, and whilst I can hear how much you are holding onto that sense of 'I have done this to myself.'

But you didn't traumatise yourself, your trauma happened to you. You didn't choose to suffer, in fact you chose to feel. I've known folks who were so detached from their emotions that they seemed to always just be 'ok'... but over time I could see how much it wore them down, and left them confused and unable to truly connect with the people around them. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, and to me, that was actually the first step you took towards recovery. Even if it really doesn't feel like it.

Haha did you also have holes in all your clothes as a kid? 😅

@creative_writer Sounds like there's a lot of shame about not being okay in your body, or like... that you aren't more 'functional'. And hey, talking about these things can be super destabilising. Maybe back then, you HAD to focus on detaching so that you could get through uni and stuff without crumbling. Now maybe your body is 'playing catch up' and some of the stuff you had to repress out of necessity has come back to the surface.

Do you worry that sharing these things about your physical symptoms will be shut down or ignored? Valid fear, tho we can gently 'test the waters' - like sometimes I will ask them about them - e.g. I will ask new supports about their religion or spiritual leanings so I can determine if it is safe for me to talk about mine. You could ask about their knowledge/experience/expertise in a particular area. And if they don't have skills, they may be able to help you find someone who does. Food for thought anyway - all one step at a time eh?

Haha yeah, weirdly often around my belly button!! Nowadays it's mostly toothpaste and sauce rather than holes, thankfully! 🤣