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I ruined everything

LegoguySenior Contributor02 June 2025, 6:44 pm AEST

I ruined everything

Hi all

OK. This is hard. It's been 1 week since my partner found out I had been lieing to her for years. We had been together for almost 8 years and I had been in contact on and off for that time with an ex.

I know. I did wrong. Really really wrong. And I will beat myself up for it for the rest of my life.

The problem is, I love my partner. I dont want to do life without her. We had our problems yes. And all of them were my fault. Ive had my problems internally and I made our relationship suffer. I wish that I would have tried to get help earlier. Much earlier.

I regret everything that I've done and all the hurt that I have caused to her and all of her family. I miss our grandson. I miss waking up next to her and going to sleep next to her. She really was my world. I was just too stupid and should have told my ex to leave me alone and been fully faithful and focused 100% on my partner.

I wont lie. I have considered taking my life. I just dont know how to do life without her. She has blocked me completely and I dont blame her for that.

I want to get help and am actively working towards getting help from a psychologist. But without her in my life I am just completely lost.

I dont expect anyone to give me sympathy or help. I deserve all the hurt that I am feeling.

I just needed to get it out.

I hope one day she may forgive me enough to at least talk. I know she will never trust me again. But I cant help but fight for her.

She is my world.

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In response to: I ruined everything

MissGremlinSenior Contributor02 June 2025, 7:02 pm AEST

Re: I ruined everything

Hello @Legoguy, I'm really sorry to hear what's happened. I can hear how much you regret your choices that you made and how much you wish you hadn't done it. I think it's important to remember that whilst you may have done the wrong thing at the end of the day we are all only human and we all make mistakes.

It's completely understandable that you feel lost without her and that life feels impossible without having her my your side. Unfortunately we often don't realise these things until we've lost them and by then it's too late. But I think the most important thing right now is to give her some space and focus on the things you can do to help yourself and just maybe if you can get the help you need then things may have a way of working themselves out.

Its great that you want to get help and I think right now that would be the best thing to focus on. I know it's hard and I know nothing is going to take the pain away but try to be gentle with yourself.

We are here for you ♥️