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Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

I'm not actually looking for any feedback here just needing to unload some of my thoughts around this as there is no one I can talk to who could begin to understand. And please, I do not want to come across as negative about my wife, I am just trying to get myself in the right frame of mind so that I can not be too reactive and be able to best support my darling in the transition

My wife has been in hospital (private hospital mental health unit) for 2 weeks now following admission for suicidal thoughts / behaviour. At her last meeting with the admitting dr she is determined that she will be coming home next Tuesday. I thought she would be there at least another week. I should be excited right??? for some reason however this is making me anxious.

Firstly I thought that it was subject to review next Tuesday but my darling is only hearing what she wants to and is determined to come home regardless and has told the children she will be home also even though I asked her not to...
so what happens now if the doc does not want to discharge her on Tuesday ??? not only do I have to deal with my darlings potential meltdown (I saw the state she was in when denied a weekend pass) but also our children. They will be devastated. one in particular is already off me for 'sending mummy away' and 'letting the dr do experiments on her' (don't know where that one came from?) they miss her so much and want her home, I am just a little annoyed that she has put me in this position. she does not have to deal with the fall out if things don't go to plan 😞

Then when she does come home I am worried about the transition. This has not gone well in the past and she is already getting excited about how well I have packed away the washing and is it in the correct colour order and facing left not right or whatever 😞 why haven't I mowed the grass (seriously, when have I had the time to do that whit everything else that is going on.

Further to this I have plans for Wednesday and if things go pear shaped on Tuesday it will be another instance where I have to opt out of doing something for myself in order to keep my darling happy/ safe. (is it selfish to think like this?)
At the very least put being discharged off till Thursday, but she is not interested in hearing that.

I was hoping to see the dr while visiting today to discuss my concerns but he didn't show up so now hanging out for Monday. I want more than anything to have my darling home but at the right time and in the right mind space.
I have explained to my darling my concerns but she thinks she is fine and I overacted in having her admitted in the first place. Just really hoping things go well and frantically trying to get the house in order. (Housework has been lacking as I have been wasted driving 3 hours a day to visit her with our baby).

I love my wife and sooooo much want her home but want it to go well also. I just wish it did not bother me so much that she is coming home early 😞

Will let you all know how it all goes. Thank you for listening.

41 replies

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In response to: Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Re: Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Hey @Determined

Returning to a state where relaxation was possible following Mr Darcy's attempt took a long time and at times it still eludes me.

I find it very hard to focus in what could go right, far easier to be anxious about what could go wrong.

A week can seem like a long time ... I know I probably did lot of hovering in the early days. I still find myself checking on him.

Trusting the process has not been easy for me, as his diagnosis becomes more apparent it is becoming a little easier, more so as I have educated myself about things and feel more confident that I am asking the right questions. Having a clear treatment plan was also helpful.

I am afraid that I do call a spade a spade, getting through the crisis was hard work and I cannot romanticize it in any way.

I do hope your darling will find good support from a couple of the church ladies. Wellways have a partners in recovery program, they will visit home for free. It might be a bloke thing and different for your darling but Mr Darcy does not like to talk about his MI issues with friends.

Hope today goes OK for you.

Darcy

In response to: Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Re: Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Hi @Determined

How are you doing? Were you able to get to uni on Wednesday? Understand your concerns going back to work next week. Hope your darling continues to be steady.

Mr Darcy anxious, not sure if it is because meds are working and he now has more insight into illness and is more aware of loss of health or if heading for relapse. Watching him closely ...

Take care
Darcy




In response to: Re: Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Re: Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Hi @Former-Member

Things continue to be ok here at the moment as long as there is no tension or stress. My darling went out on her bike this morning and came back more relaxed and happy than I have seen in ???. Trying hard not to hover too much atm and give her some space to find herself again.

I did manage to get to uni on Wednesday but unfortunately I was so tired I was not able to help out as much a I had hoped. It seems that now things havd slowed down and the pressure is off I have flopped 😟 I also tried doing some pre reading yesterday before clases start next week and was not very successful, not sure how I am going to go with concentration once clasees start back, just have to do the best I can.

Trusting things go ok for Mr Darcy, feel for you at the moment. It is not a goog feeling not knowing which way things are headed. My thoughts and prayers are with you at the moment.

D

In response to: Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Re: Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Hey @Determined

Did not want to interrupt current discussion on the ups and downs thread .. thoughts have been with you today.

D

In response to: Re: Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Re: Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Thanks @Former-Member, been a tough day for my darling 😔

How are things for you and mr Darcy?

In response to: Re: Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Re: Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Have been watching the discussion on the other thread on and off but have nothing positive to add so hiding for the moment.

In response to: Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Re: Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Feeling a bit the same @Determined, we have pdoc tomorrow.

In response to: Re: Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Re: Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Will be thinking of you tomorrow @Former-Member, trust that goes as well as it can for you both.

In response to: Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Re: Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Thanks @Determined

In response to: Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Re: Wife coming home from hospital early - feeling anxious

Hi @Former-Member
Just wanted to touch base and say thinking of you today and trust the appointment went well for you both.
D
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