Easily Bored

Hi @Kurra

Before I got sick last year I used to find I had to always be doing something and I often got bored. It was usually when I was doing something that I wasn't interested in - meetings and PD at work were big ones. I could keep myself busy when I was at home and was constantly on the go. I did also tend to get quite obsessive also. I found that once I started doing something - a puzzle, gardening, painting, renovating etc. I kept going until I had finished - this also caused a lot of frustration - particularly when I was really tired. Now I don't get bored as much because I just don't have the energy to do anything. There have been a few days over the last several months when I have felt ok and wanted to do things but haven't been physically capable - those days have been frustrating and I have been bored.

For me I think it is very much dependent on my physical and mental state and balancing between interest, necessity and sometimes obsession.

@Kurra I think a lot of what I used to do was not just so I wasn't bored - but if I wasn't doing something all the time I had too much time to think!!! I had so many roles at work that I don't know how I found the time to do them all. Part of it was keeping myself busy on all those nights I didn't sleep and over the years the physcial and mental toll of not sleeping just compounded my sense of failure when I couldn't complete anything. I know I wasn't in a very good place last year before I got sick but I pushed through each day trying to do more and more and achieving less and less. At the same time as I got really sick, some of my extra activities at work were taken away and given to other people to do - this at the time was really overwhelming for me to deal with. I can see now that it was to lessen my load - and I'm sure my boss could see how unwell I was becoming before me - but at the time it just added to my sense of worthlessness and failure. I also didn't have the distractions that helped me get though the days - some of which were very easy for me to do and gave me a real sense of achievement. Then when I got sick and subsequently 'crashed' I found I couldn't even focus on what day it was let alone doing anything. This was definitely compounded by the feelings of letting people down and questioning why I couldn't do the things I had always done. It took for a lot of major decisions to be taken out of my hands to be able to just sit back, relax a little and say 'it wasn't my choice - so I can't control it'. That was actually a good day. I think that was the first day for so, so long that I could just simply 'sit' and not do anything - and feel ok about it.

hello @Zoe7 @Kurra @Former-Member

I used to be the busy bee at work. When it was quiet I would catch up on outstanding training courses. Tidy up and file, delete etc my emails.

Years ago in banking, I would tidy the cupboards, restock etc then go to the stationery room and do the same there. They eventually appointed me in charge of the stock. Yeah. So this had to be done during quiet periods aside from actually advising customers etc.

For me it gave me self satisfaction and the day passed, it relieved boredom. I have never been one of the girls groups at work. I can't stand idle talk that is boring., talking about others I just dont want to know. So I tidy up, avoid the clicks. I used to think that it was part of my being different to everyone else. I now realise those people were boring, selfish, busybodies who had their own insecurities. To cover up this fact they gossiped. To this day I do not fit in with groups. I am not a sheep.

I can see both sides your side Kurra and also Zoe has explained very well the eventual outcome to overstretching yourself, overloading and ignoring signs of fatigue, not sleeping. Teej you picked up on this.

I think that the most important thing is to recognise when our physical side is sending us warnings. Physical and mental parts of us are connected and interrelate. We just have to learn to listen.

Yes I get easily bored especially around self-centred, gossiping people.