Hi @AuntGlow How are you? I'm sorry I've not replied sooner - it's been a rough little while unfortunately but here I am, on here saying hello at some ridiculous hour.
(Get your cuppa 😉)
While I completely understand this forum is for connection and not a crisis space or similar, I hope the next part of what I'm about to say is okay. I don't want to give off the wrong impression...I'm up late on here seeking connection as today, this afternoon, I received horrible and surprising new - my therapist made the call to quit being my therapist. Thats how our session started. There is context and I'm super mindful of what I'm saying, however during this little period where I've not been well, I made some (now reflecting) bad decisions and or spoke to openly about where my heads at which has caused this. We've been seeing each other for nearly 4 years and had great connection, they had been there through a lot with me. It was and still is, a bitter pill to swallow.
Now is definitely the time I need to practise compassion and allowing me to feel that. Where would I start? I mean, yes.... I've not been well. However, the past 2 weeks I've really focused on accumulating positive emotions. I've been riding my mountain bike. I went and painted pottery with my lifelong friend (A water bowl for Max ), looking after myself such as showers and taking medication etc. Is that compassion?
Max is amazing, he is currently snoring ever so softly nestled into me as I sit on my couch. He keeps me going, He really does. I love Max to bits and I absolutely love his unconditional love! Do you have any pets? Sorry if you've already told me.
Dad's been and gone, it was lovely having him here but yes, it's definitely felt like his orbiting me like a satellite when he's here but I know he means well. It's just, he's very triggering. He's actually heading into a hospital/rehab himself next week for his own demons so that was a suprise when he told us only the other day.
I'm slowly building my relationship up with my Mum. We both actually trained and bussed it into town from our own houses and went to a Art Exhibition. One that's important to me (and is the 3rd year running that I've attended), showcasing art from those with lived experiences of mental health and AODs. That was a fun, free event and I mean....we didn't have to try interact with each other as we went our separate ways in the gallery and met at the end. It went well I say.
I absolutely love writing and whilst I've been slack on the response this time round - I'd love to be considered for the NewsLetter,thank you for asking! What can I do to contribute?
I returned to work yesterday, little shift but two days in, I'm feeling more comfortable about working again now I've had the all clear. It's been a while since I've been at work as the previous attempt to return failed unfortunately. That's okay, hopefully this return is it. 🤞
I'm currently getting back into my art - I have finished an imploding heart pieces which is pretty cool and now I'm working on a lighter piece, slowly. I enjoy the state I get in, sometimes it came take me 10-15mins of persisting with it, but then time just slows right down and next thing you know it, it's been 2 hours and not one distressing thought or feeling! I'll be keeping the art up that's for sure.
I appreciate you and thanks for being my forum buddy. I've never done anything like this before and it's pretty cool to chat and bounce ideas.
I really look forward to hearing from you soon. No rush. 😁
MotherDuck
