My life sucks

@Blackcloud Sounds like a good idea to travel with others. It can help too when things go a bit not ok.

Yeah that wind is shocking. It’s more a be home kind of day today I reckon.

@Cuddlebear the thing is I dont have anyone that I can hang out with nor even go out to travel overseas with 😂 so im always left to do it all by myself 😂

@Cuddlebear I really wanted to write an email to the eheadspace team about the issue with my supervisor that I dealt with this week and how that has impacted my ability to study especially on that same day that I had the placement. (It’s the same issue that I told you about)

*sigh* ….but I haven’t had the chance to cause writing up an email is exhausting. But also I tried having a chat with the counsellor there via webchat yesterday but I couldn’t because I was kind of pissed at her for not answering my questions that I had at the beginning of the conversation and so i told her that I’ll just send an email instead.. also because we had 20-30 minutes remaining in the yesterdays webchat so I was certain that we wouldn’t have enough time to talk about everything I wanted.

hope I can write the email today….or not….

@Cuddlebear yesterday wasnt really my day so

@Blackcloud It is hard to write those emails. Brings out a lot of emotions and for me at least the worry of how they will respond. But I know that it’s hard too while you are trying to study and have this on your mind. Have you considered a plan on how to go about writing the email? That might help?

@Blackcloud It’s ok. Just one step at a time. That’s the best we can do and that’s totally ok.

I’m feeling pretty yuck myself. Haven't been able to do anything for a while now. I just sit around with no purpose and no joy. It’s very hard like this.

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@Cuddlebear wrote:

I’m feeling pretty yuck myself. Haven't been able to do anything for a while now. I just sit around with no purpose and no joy. It’s very hard like this.

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yeah, it definitely feels like that for me too a lot of the times, whenever things don't go the way I've expected or wanted it to be. I don't have hopes that things will change for the better. Even if I try to have hopes or think in the positives, it's really hard to have hopes for it especially when all you got is continuing to have the setbacks.

Hello @Blackcloud @Cuddlebear,

I know that things are feeling extra challenging for you both right now (and understandably so).

Experiencing setbacks and adversity over and over again is utterly exhausting... I think you are both doing so well to manage some really big feelings and experiences.

I know we can try to focus on the positives, but maybe right now, you're allowed to feel all that you are feeling? Maybe it's okay to express it all, so you can fully process what you are going through? And perhaps, lots of inner nurturing and soothing is the most loving thing you can do for yourselves today? 🥰

@AuntGlow Right now I’ve been getting back to start studying again, as well as taking breaks in between after each 30 minute study blocks - not sure if you’ve heard of the pomodoro technique, but that’s what I’m using right now everytime I have to commit my time to do some studying. Right now I have more than a minute left till my first break is over.

@AuntGlow Hello 🙂 How you doing? I think I do need to get all these feelings out. I hold onto them and sit trying to live through all the physical and mental sensations my body is feeling from years of pent up trauma. These fight flight sensations are awful to live with everyday. Got to find a safe way to release how I feel. I need to cry which for some reason isn't happening.

I do try so hard and desperately want things to be better.

@Blackcloud Im so glad the taking breaks in between study is helping. Well done on persevering and trying new things that can help.