My story (Trigger warning)

@Ed1975 , sitting with you my friend 🧡

I was emotionally and mentally and physically abused by my father until mum and I left when i was 11 because the abuse was affecting our health

I will tag a few members @Till23 , @Appleblossom , @rav3n , @Jynx

@Shaz51

I wish my mum would have left. We used to tell her what was happening and she would say, "this is my house, I have my ornaments and furniture here, why should I leave". It's beyond thinking about.

My mum found it very hard to leave too @Ed1975

I think if I did not get sick , she might of stayed too

After we left , for the next 5 years we lived with 4 different families until we moved in to look after my grandparents and then my aunty and her 4 children moved in with us

@Shaz51

Yeah, I just don't know why she stayed. But I'm guessing she was in total fear for her life at the time, too. I'll never know.

I think she was too @Ed1975

Fear is a big thing and back then women did not have the support like they do now

We left with nothing , no money , no nothing , only family members taking us in

I'm sorry you experienced complex trauma @Ed1975

I have also experienced complex trauma and there are a few other people on here that I know have also experienced complex trauma, but there are likely more, I'm just not aware of their stories.

Often when you start to experience, or symptoms worsen, later in life, it is due to some trigger and the death of perpetrator is a well known trigger.

I was triggered by radiotherapy treatment for my first cancer which replicated some of the CSA (as well as physical and psychological abuse) I experienced frequently for years. It also meant I had to lie to the treatment team about scars I had on me, that I had covered up all of my life. A year later I was diagnosed with cancer again and had to go through the same thing. I was in my late 50s at diagnosis of first cancer. I managed to keep working somehow, despite nightly flashbacks and nightmares and daily radiotherapy treatments. I told my GP and started seeing a psychologist - it has been expensive.

You are definitely not alone.

However this is not a clinical service and we can not suggest specific practitioners or give medical advice, only share our lived experience. I know you have said you are linked in with a clinical service already.

There are crisis support services listed on SANE website - such as Lifeline, Suicide Call Back Service, another place is Beyond Blue. Lifeline and Beyond Blue (at least) have phone and chat services.

You have experienced domestic (or family) violence so also eligible for help through 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) as well. There is also Blue Knoe Foundation which has information on complex trauma.

For funding it's pretty dire as I've said previously unless you are able to access public mental health service. It's GP (who may or may not bulk bill - but there is at least some Medicare rebate.

You can get 6 initial and 10 total psychologist appointment subsidised by Medicare per year with an Mental Health Care Plan (MHCP) you need a GP appointment to get the final 4 of the 10.

Psychiatrist will have some medicare rebate.

You may be able to get some compensation or counselling through your state's Victim Services (might have different names in different states), usually this is hard to get.

I hope at least some of what I've written is helpful for you.

@Till23

Thanks for your input.

@Ed1975 I am so very sorry to hear that you are struggling at the moment. I have no magic answer, no magic wand but just know that no matter what, you are not alone my friend. I'm will offer you a friendly shoulder to cry on, an empathetic ear to vent if needed, anytime 😊 just reach out.

@Phoenix65

Thank you.

@Ed1975 I forgot to say there are people on the forums, including myself, who are happy to sit with you, chat etc