Tillogram

@Till23 Just hugs.

Thoughts and memories; will come and go. It can be helpful to have a collection of things that help you keep connection with his spirit as you get used to his absence and your loss. Gradually Feeling at one with yourself, as you do recall him.

It took courage to make the decision and be there for him in the end. It took love to lessen his suffering. Take care

apple

Thanks @Appleblossom

I have lots of photos and I keep their collars and ID discs

Their spirits will always be with me

Morning @Till23

How are your travelling, my friend?

Thanks @NightFury I am as good as can be expected I think.

I still think about him all the time and think I hear him. It will probably sink in more today. Of course it’s started off a sunny day which I had hoped for his last couple of days to feel the sun on him, but we still had some little strolls outside.

How are you travelling now it’s a weekend

@Till23 it will sink in as you go through your days. Let yourself feel it, let yourself be sad and do what you need to do for yourself.

Me? Today has been and is a bit of a challenge.

Yes @NightFury this being the third bereavement in 3 years I am used to those initial stages of feeling as though they are still here and constantly thinking “oh I must do” this or that.

I am packing up his things now, in between getting a bit of sun (finally) and hopefully getting some washing dry. Supposed to rain a lot here starting later today.

Do you want to chat about your challenging day?

Sending virtual hugs @Till23 . Slowly thoughtfully lovingly working through the day and its absences. Take care.

@Till23 it's a process you go through and I'm glad it sounds like you're giving yourself some grace to go through it.

I have things that I need to get done today - shopping for my niece's and nephew's birthday, groceries etc.

My brain is spazzing out.

I feel so...spacey...if that makes sense. It's like brain fog. I'm going to be really...vague here because I can't put in a trigger warning on my phone. But you're in my thread and know what happened. I have had problems since I caved a couple of days ago and I caved again this morning...as soon as I woke up. Nothing had even had time to cause it and I knew instantly that this is now something to worry about. I emailed the counsellor I spoke to through the guided recovery program. She told me to email if I wanted to add something to the list of things to talk about and was like..."we can add that to the list too." No details, no nothing just that I was safe and needed to add it. Now...I'm in two minds...I want to take the email back, but I also know I need help and don't want to deal with it alone...again.

I did a couple of hours of study, and then had to get moving because I have things to do today. As I was driving, I was teetering between shame and anger and embarrassment because I also put a post up here in my thread and then deleted it because it was too much, too needy, too many feelings, too...anxiety brained.

@NightFury you are not too much, but you have much going on.

I think you’ll find that nearly if not all of the people on here have felt brain fog and also the uncertainties around posting things.

I think it’s good the guided recovery counsellor knows, even though other people knowing brings up all those feelings of shame etc

Sounds like you’ve managed to achieve quite a lot today already despite the brain fog.

I have managed to get a load of washing dry which is great as it was not supposed to be a good day today weather wise. I also managed to get a roofer to come and hopefully fix my leaking roof. Which is great as it’s supposed to bucket down in the next couple of days.

@Till23 I think it's good that she knows too. She might have some strategies to shift me out of this.

I'm just taking some time out. I've stopped for birthday presents, I've eaten lunch, I've done the groceries. Now I'm at my Mum's and have put a load of my washing through her washing machine (mine broke last week and my parents are away). I'm about to deliver the presents to my brother's house.

I have an assignment due tomorrow, but I'm looking forward to spending the day at home.

It sounds like you've got a few things done as well. I really hope you get your roof fixed especially given that rain's coming. It's cold and yucky here too. We've also had snow up in the higher elevations. I feel the cold in my bones - not a fan.