FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

951 - 960 of 3,920

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury how are you going this morning?

What’s the weather like there - is it cold in the mornings?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Morning @Till23 I've been awake for a while, but haven't only just made it out of bed. Just going through the motions this morning - food, meds, coffee, shower, feed Luna.

It's cold this morning. It rained yesterday, and there's snow on the hills surrounding us. The weather forecast tells me we're in for a maximum of 8 degrees today...

How are you?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Right @NightFury well, it’s going to be warmer here! That’s not news though 😂

It’s already past 8 degrees but with the wind chill possibly less.

I have put a load of washing on, about to hang it out, had breakfast on my old lounge on verandah in sun, although the wind is making it a bit cool.

Yes, all you need to go is go through the motions today with that and appointment that will be a tick for achievements today. Anything more would be over achieving

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 anxiety's kicked in. I feel all shaky, wobbly legged, my heart's pounding and my breathing's off.

Less than an hour until my appointment. I've left home already. I need to go to the chemist, and thought I'd have a coffee while I wait....

Deep breaths.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh sorry I missed your message @NightFury I got caught up with a phone call - which was important and pretty scary for me, now having second thoughts about something.

But enough about me

How was wait, coffee and appointment.

I am here all afternoon on and off checking

Hope you are OK

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 I hope you're okay? Here if you want to chat.

I'm home now and it's all done. The wait and the anxiety was horrible. It's still numb but have felt a couple of strange little twinges. I'm not supposed to do any heavy lifting and need to keep the bandages on and dry for a few days. I'm to expect bruising and mild soreness.

I'm sitting on the couch, having a hard time with feeling like I should be doing something, but knowing that I need to rest, because I'm feeling kinda wiped out from the anxiety of the day...

I've done a couple of small paper work jobs...

- paid my Uni fees

- emailed my sports association to organise a transfer to my new club...

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @NightFury glad you are home and it is over and done with.

Yes the local will keep it numb for a little while. Do you have any pain relief like panadol or anything did they give you a script for any pain relief

Bruising and mild soreness is standard.

Yes try not to do anything too much.

I'm not sure what you had or what body part it involves but if you had a hole in you with or without stitches, you want the hole to close well. The less you do early on, the better it will heal and better looking the scar, hopefully a negligible scar.

As you probably have figured out I'm not good at "doing nothing" so I came home from my first cancer surgery and then took myself to cinema that evening, because you have to just sit there for like 2 hrs and I knew if was at home I would do something and it could pull on my stitches.

Then I came home and went to bed so another few hours of doing "nothing". It was difficult to sleep because I had to have stuff like pillows around me etc to support bits of me so I didn't accidentally cause pulling on wound and had a bit of pain - not bad though (I did have a fair chunk taken out of me - the tumour and a bit of surrounds to make sure they got it all) - that scar is really good and you can hardly see it. Second surgery bigger chunk - that scar is still remodelling so pretty obvious, also probably went back to sport too soon but I wanted to go to Australian Masters - and I'm old and don't care about the scar.

Yes the emotions of the day will definitely make you tired

Is that your bowls membership?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I am recommending maybe some b1nge watching of something @NightFury with a cup of tea and snuggled with Luna.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 they didn't give me anything for pain relief, so it'll be panadol and neurofen which I have here.

No stitches, but yes...got a hole, so I have to be careful with it for a few days. Not get it wet, try and let it heal.

Ahaha....when I had my skin cancer removed, I did a mud run with the stitches still in. My friend worked at a chemist and she wrapped it and layered it and protected it so it didn't get wet and muddy. The things we do.

Yeah, it's for bowls. There was an issue with the email they have attached to my account so I'm not getting their transfer of membership forms. The club couldn't sort it for me, so I had to email them permission to change my email and give them my current email address...nothing is ever easy!

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury 🥰

How are you today?

951 - 960 of 3,920