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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Okay, that's totally fine. ☺️ I get that completely - we can expand! @NightFury

Would you feel comfortable sharing your plan with me here?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Maybe @AuntGlow I don't know...which is probably a no...not here. I feel weird about it. I'm sorry.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That is 100% okay. Thank you for setting your boundaries. ❤️ @NightFury

Hmm, what about this: can you look at your plan as it stands and tell me what section you feel needs more clarity/expanding?

✨Warning signs

✨Making your space safe

✨Reasons to live

✨Things you can do regulate

✨People and places you can connect with

✨People or services you can talk to for more support

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm finding this difficult, so thank you for your understanding @AuntGlow

I think all of them need expanding, except the warning signs.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Okay, wonderful - which one feels the most approachable right now? @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow things I can do to regulate and people and places I can connect with.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Great! Okay, so think about what you currently have on these lists - what feels missing/what do you feel you need more of? @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow things I can do of a night/early mornings.

I can't reach out here in the middle of the night or early hours of the morning...so, I need to figure out how to support myself.

I only have the SANE forums on people and places to connect with...and a friend, who is leaving the State.

And things I can do to regulate...

I kinda need a step-by-step thing...first this, then this. And some for those night/mornings that have been the hardest, most vulnerable.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

I want to acknowledge how far you have come in even opening up here and seeking support in the first place.

Whilst things are not 'perfect', there is progress.

How is your mindfulness app streak going? I completed another 2 activities last night 🙂

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I feel like I've let you down...I'm disappointed and frustrated in myself

I had two days in a row, then last night...I was distracted and didn't do it. I woke up in about 1.30 am and I just...sank when I realised that I'd done it again - broke the streak.

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