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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's a lot @NightFury !

I hear you have a passion for teaching, but it also has it's stressors. My sister teaches. She's in leadership though. But I know plenty of teachers don't make it past the first 5 years. The fact that you have survived beyond the 5 years, speaks for itself.

Teaching is NOT easy. It's not a walk in the park. I think grads think they come into teaching to teach... but I think in reality, a teacher is a carer, a mother, a father, a nurse, a friend, a companion, a coach, a mentor and everything else.

I'm sorry you feel you don't really belong in that school, but like you said, it pays the bills and gives you a roof over your head.

Do you think the lack of sense of belonging comes from within you, or do you think it's the school? Would you consider looking for a different school?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme that's so true. When you graduate you have this whole expectation of what it's going to be like and it's nothing like it.

I've been in leadership positions and that in itself was hard, but also, I was experiencing severe burn out. So...it made things harder.

It's definitely from within me...it's something I struggle with. I feel like I don't belong anywhere.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Arghhh... I've been in that space before... it ended up being depression. Then it turned into severe despression, but that is because I didn't have the skills work with the depression. My underlying challenge was around manage my BPD.

I have to say, after a few years of testing out meds, I finally found an anti depressant that made a difference so that I could at least start feeling again!

@NightFury , it sounds so so hard. Hang in there my friend. Know that you are not alone in feeling this way.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I think I'm depressed. I know I have super high anxiety, but I'm starting to feel that maybe depression is a thing for me too. But I also realise...that at this point, I'm just self-diagnosing.

Something to talk to my GP about on Tuesday.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

And I don't know why that's challenging to sit with @tyme

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury No, I get it completely. It can be so tough to slow down internally, even when we are desperate to. Sometimes the body is too activated, and that's not your fault - it's just doing its best to survive. I know I ask this a lot, but what is something small that would feel soothing right now?

That makes me smile - knowing people are here for you. You deserve that, tenfold. I understand that it can feel needy, but I promise it's not.

My gosh, you really should be proud of yourself. How many more assignments do you have coming up? I know you have support from other people here, but what can I do to be there for you?💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow you're already doing it.

One small thing that would feel soothing right now? I don't know. Let me think about it?

I have another coming up in like two weeks. The assignment today was worth 50% of my mark, the one coming up is worth 40% and the assignment in week one of the course was worth 10%.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury 🥰

Yeah, feel into it - an answer may come organically that way.

Okay, this is good to know. Do you want to talk more about assignment stuff, or do you feel like winding down for the night? 💛✨

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlowI'm crashing a little, but I want to chat.

Assignment stuff...my next one is a PowerPoint presentation that builds on our understanding of the same topic in the first and second task. We have to make the PowerPoint, film is presenting it and submit the script.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh wow, that sounds really interesting. How are you feeling about it and do you have an idea of what you might do? @NightFury 💛

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