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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you for letting me know where you are at @NightFury.

It sounds like things have been a lot for you today... slowing down sounds like a wonderful way to nurture yourself.

I would love to hear one thing you are grateful for and one thing you are proud of today? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I'm literally sitting here, physically, literally slowed down, but I'm struggling to sit in it and slow myself down inside...oh dear me...I don't know how to explain it.

Today, I'm grateful for those who've checked in intermittently throughout the day. I felt really...alone this morning and have gone through waves of...feeling like I'm too needy for acting on that and reaching out here this morning...so I'm grateful for those who've gone out of their way to touch base.

One thing I'm proud of...getting my assignment done after being rejected for an extension and the crash that I've experienced this week.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury , I just read your message from this morning. How are you going with your assignment? I was working on a mental health assignment, but I didn't get very far. We may just need to keep each other accountable!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme an assignment accountability forums friend! I like it.

I got it done eventually. Done and submitted. It took 6 hours of work, with a break set on my alarms to remember to stretch and drink water every hour and a half or so. It's been a long day. I lost patience and capacity towards the end and submitted it without reading over it, or editing it. So we'll see.

What have you been working on?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I've been working on writing practice notes.. as in, notes about my practice. It allows me to reflect on them and learn from them @NightFury

With SANE, we have external supervision, so it allows us to bring things to discuss.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme sounds like a super reflective tool to use, and helps you to reflect on, and learn from your practice. Teachers do a lot of reflection...or should. You can look at what you've done and, what worked and what didn't and unpack it.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Totally. I feel reflective practice is so important. @NightFury

And with these practice notes, there are different areas we focus on e.g. confidentiality, group facilitation, escalations, collaborative support, etc.

It's not hard, but it's lengthy

And we look at organisational policies and procedures as part of this process.

So yeah, it's good learning.

When's your next assignment due? I know the feeling. As soon as you submit one, you take this big breath and a sigh of relief too. 🙂

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme do you focus on different areas each time?

I've worked at schools where reflection has been this big process and schools where you've just got to go it alone. The school I'm in now, we do a lot of reflection verbally in our teaching teams. But I've been in schools where we've been observed on certain aspects of our practice and then had to reflect on that.

I don't even know. In a couple of weeks, I think. This one was worth 50% of our mark, the next is 40%. We had a small assignment at the end of week one that was worth 10%. I have super high expectations on myself as a student...I always have.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

All the best with your assignment @NightFury .

With teaching, I'm hearing about the peer observations or something?

How are you finding teaching now anyway?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme how I feel about teaching is so complex...

I'm about to sound as if I'm complaining and I don't mean to....there are great things about teaching...

It's stressful, it takes everything that I have to give each day and leaves me feeling really messy and just absolutely exhausted. I don't sit well with the...the whole system. I feel like it tries to hammer square pegs into round holes. I don't sit well with always having to be a grump and constantly telling kids what to do, instead of having a level, respectful conversation that helps them to feel heard and supported.

I love love the small one-on-one connection building, authentic relationship developing moments with the kids.

I feel kind of...irrelevant at the school that I work in - irrelevant and temporary.

And I hate that...I struggle with the job because everyone else seems to be able to keep it together. My anxiety is almost impossible to manage at work, and I am always on the ledge there. I feel overstimulated all of the time. I find there's no space for a moment of self-regulation. Or just...space for me. But maybe that's just my life in general at the moment?

It allows me to have a roof over my head, to feed myself and my dog, gets me out of bed and functioning in my life...it's like the only social interaction I get. And because I work so closely with other staff members I make work friends.

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