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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3919 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good evening @NightFury,

Definitely not unexciting! 🥰

Waking up at 5am is no joke. 🥵

You do sooo much before work, no wonder you are so exhausted by the weekend. I think you absolutely deserve some grace here, because I would also be wrecked.

What do you find your algorithm shows you in your doomscrolling? Mine is random ASMR and Therapy videos haha

I'm glad you're resting on the weekends. I wonder what tired and emotional NightFury needs on Saturdays?

Have you done your monthly adventure this month? 🫶

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Waking up at 5 am is really hard @AuntGlow mornings are terrible. Well, for me anyway.

I do a lot before work because I know that after work, I really struggle. I'm exhausted after work.

Great question. My doom scrolling at the moment mostly exists on people performing (musicals, clips of TV shows, people singing in those TV show competitions like Australian Idol), stand up comedy, true crime clips and mental health stuff.

Tired and emotional me needs some grace and some space to be tired and emotional on Saturdays. But there's always jobs to do, always study to do.

I haven't done my monthly adventure yet. It's at the end of this month. I booked in to a group thing - a distillery ghost tour and meal. It's with a group for ladies, who get together and do things, explore things, make friends and build connections.

I have a psychology appointment this afternoon. Is it weird to say that I am both looking forward to it, but also extremely anxious about it?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello lovely @NightFury,

Mornings have always been terrible for me too, even 10am is hard! Would you ever do evening work?

I understand that... do you ever find a sleep-in or a nap after work helps to re-energise you?

I am also curious to hear about how work is going, if you feel comfortable sharing. 🥰

ooh, I love that! I know it can be tricky from a laptop, but would you like to share some reels with each other for fun?

Can I compassionately suggest that allowing yourself time to be tired and emotional is also a very productive use of your time? (Because the more you pour into you, the easier it is to pour into others!)

You mentioned this group previously and I am SO glad to hear you are going. I think this is really wholesome and wonderful for you. Have you met already? And if so, how did it feel for you?

You know what they say, anxiety and excitement are very closely linked, so this makes sense! How did it go? 😍

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Maybe @AuntGlow maybe I would do evening work. The issue with that is my sleep. I need sleep to be able to feel like I can handle things.

I don't really do naps or sleep ins. I wake naturally on weekends at around 7/7.30 and once I'm awake, generally I'm awake. And I don't really let myself do naps unless I'm really struggling. Naps are brutal for me to wake up from too. I'd rather only put myself through that once a day.

My psychologist and I talked yesterday about why I struggle with rest. Some of is my neurodivergence, but also my nervous system is stuck in fight/flight and she suggested some things to try to to work my way back to a more balanced state. She said she uses a neuropod. But I looked them up, they're expensive. She suggested TIPP Skills - particularly the temperature, and intense exercise. I said I'd try to dive reflex, or a cold shower. And we talked about going back to the GP to try and balance my meds a little better.

Work is going okay. I feel a bit of pressure to meet my KPI's. They've increased and that's hard. I worry that if I don't meet them I'm going to get into trouble and I'm not a valuable team member. But I also feel pressure to get involved from an organisation perspective. And do you remember me talling you about three people I connect with there? Two of them have left and the other is moving to Melbourne to work remotely. This has made me feel a little isolated.

This social group - I haven't met them, no. I'm really hesitant. I'm going to be a stranger in a room full of people who most likely know each other.

My appointments are going well..my psychologist is awesome at explaining things and I feel like she can help me and wants to help me. I feel like...the things we're working on at the moment are the foundations. She's trying to get me sleeping better and feeling better in terms of the anxiety in my body, so that we can then build from there and work on the higher level things.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury my sweet, checking in with you today ❤️.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Morning @MissGremlin

I feel absolutely exhausted this morning.

Luna and I are still tucked up in bed, but I'm hungry and need coffee, so it's probably time to get up.

How are things over there?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury can relate to feeling absolutely exhausted. I'm still in bed but I did get up to make a coffee and feed Casper.

I'm feeling emotional and very vulnerable today. Thinking I might go put my roast beef in the oven and then lay on the lounge with Casper.

Have you got any plans for the weekend sweet?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm sorry you're feeling emotional and vulnerable @MissGremlin hugs to you, my friend.

I don't have any plans. I went out last night to a work social event. Today needs to be a big rest day, but I do need to get a few house work jobs done. Tomorrow, I need to do some study.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thankyou @NightFury my sweet ❤️.

Can imagine that the social event would have taken alot out of you, was it ok though? Having a rest day today sounds like a good idea, hoping the housework jobs aren't too hard. Hope the studying goes ok tomorrow for you.

We could do some Lego together if you're up for it this weekend, no pressure though.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

This week has taken a lot out of me, to be honest @MissGremlin the social event on top just added to it. It was good though. I snuck out early and didn't stay the whole time, but also...I worked from home, then went in early and helped set up. So, I was done.

Lego this weekend sounds good to me.

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