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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3919 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I feel like my emotions are just...body slamming me at the moment @tyme and I was juat kind of wondering if it was because I push. I know I push myself hard.

But physically, I'm fine. Tired, no matter how much I sleep and I have a sore back again, but that's just muscular. Both if those things are normal for me.

I think you're right though. I think when I've felt really physically run down, it's because I've pushed myself too far.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

But we are all different @NightFury . I just know that when I'm sick or worn, by body will tell me.

As for constant lethargy and migraines/headaches, for me, it was always an iron issue.

So I guess it's about how well you know your body - enough to know when too much is too much.

Otherwise, I do like to push myself.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @NightFury ,

How has today been for you?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I've been in assignment mode all day @tyme

I didn't get as far with it as I would have liked, but I got 1,700 words in. I have to finish it off tomorrow. It's supposed to be 2,500 words in length.

How's your day been?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good on you. Sounds like you are making progress @NightFury

My day has been okay. We have a public holiday tomorrow, so I'm still thinking what to do tomorrow. I want to stay home and catch up on work, but my sis wants to take the kids out.

I don't know. I'll see what tomorrow brings.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It's a public holiday for us too @tyme I will be finishing off my assignment and maybe mowing the lawns, depending on the weather.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Nice to have some physical movement I guess? The lawns never stop growing! @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

No, they don't and we've had a couple of weeks of rain, so they grow quickly. @tyme I'm also super conscious of keeping them short and tidy in case I get notice of a rental inspection. Then it's already done and I don't have to worry about it.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work


@NightFury wrote:

I'm not sure what the conduit is @AuntGlow I think the switch into Winter is part of it. It's cold, it's rained nearly every day for two weeks and there's no warmth and sunshine. Getting up in the dark is hard, getting home in the dark is hard.

But I don't think it's all to do with it being Winter.


Ahh, I hear you so much on this front. The shift to Winter always does a number on me too. @NightFury 💛

Tell me more about what your days are looking like at the moment. And do you have any time to fill your cup at all?

I am keen to hear it all. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow

I live a pretty unexciting life.

Week days look like this...

  • Up at 5 am, struggle to get up and moving, fight myself and the "I don't want to go to work," thoughts.
  • Shower, take Luna out for a wee, feed Luna, green tea and breakfast. Wash up, tidy up
  • Pack my lunch, fill Luna's treat balls
  • Take Luna for a 20 minute walk
  • Drive 50 minutes to work.
  • Work from 8 - 12.30.
  • Lunch from 12.30 -1
  • Work from 1 - 5
  • Drive 50 minutes home and get home at around 6ish.
  • Let Luna out, unpack my lunch bag.
  • Feed Luna, cook tea
  • Eat dinner at around 7/7.30
  • Wash up, clean the kitchen, tidy
  • Watch some TV and doom scroll
  • Go to bed around 8.30/9 pm, read for half an hour to help my brain slow down
  • Sleep, wake up every couple of hours, toss and turn and sleep some more.
  • And then it all starts again.

Weekends I'm so tired that Saturdays are lazier days.

I wake naturally around 7.30. I bring my green tea back to bed and I read for an hour or so. I do housework on Saturdays and get the washing under control. I am usually very very tired and emotional on Saturdays.

Sundays start the same as Saturdays. I get up and wash my dreadlocs which takes an hour or so, study, do assignments, mow lawns, tidy up outside, stock the woodbox, fold washing, cook a big slow cooker meal, so that I have lunches throughout the week. TV, doom scroll, go to bed, read, try to sleep.

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