FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

3,541 - 3,550 of 3,920

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I have work today @Nala2022

I have a pretty full day of back to back meetings and client appointments, with the paperwork to go with them.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It sounds like you've got a very full day ahead of you @NightFury

I hope you're able to find a few small moments to check in with yourself throughout the day, even if it's just between appointments

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Being busy is good @Nala2022 it helps keep my brain focused...to a certain extent anyway.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I can understand that @NightFury. Sometimes keeping busy can help us stay focused on what's right in front of us and keep us connected to what we're doing, rather than getting pulled too far into our thoughts.

It doesn't always make the difficult feelings disappear, but having some structure and things to focus on can certainly help at times

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hellooooo wonderful human!! I am so sorry for my delay, it's not been personal at all. I have just been completing some other work, but I am here now! How are you feeling today? I will get to your past messages as soon as I can. @NightFury 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Honestly, I am having a bit of a hard time @AuntGlow I am tired, I feel flat and I'm struggling with feeling down and heavy.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh, I totally hear you - I have also had periods of feeling flat, down and heavy lately... I wonder what could be the conduit to this heaviness you're experiencing at the moment? @NightFury 🫶

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm not sure what the conduit is @AuntGlow I think the switch into Winter is part of it. It's cold, it's rained nearly every day for two weeks and there's no warmth and sunshine. Getting up in the dark is hard, getting home in the dark is hard.

But I don't think it's all to do with it being Winter.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury it's not always an easy realisation to have, but I hope it can help you let go of some of the guilt you may be feeling about not coping or 'keeping up'.

@MissGremlin posted this Latest Kate recently and I think it's relevant!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury sending you lots of love and hugs sweetheart. I'm always here for you ❤️.

3,541 - 3,550 of 3,920