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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

When I left the QLD @Jynx it was my intention to leave everything that happened behind, but I don't think I've managed that very well. It made me feel so very small and powerless, it messed with my understanding of who I am because I had to change to try and make someone else happy and there's all of the emotions.

I had to say that the discomfort around disappointing people is a longer term thing that's been really exacerbated by what happened in QLD. It started as a child but now, I feel like I just naturally disappoint every one, just in being who I am, because I can never meet anyone else's expectations or be who they need me to be.

I haven't thought about the two options you shared. I am not in that situation any more, I fought through nightly meltdowns and tears and fear of coming home from work, fear of even making a noise and being a presence in the house and I got myself out. But, I still carry it with me. I want to work through it and talk about it. I think it's important.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury definitely understandable that it hasn't been so easy to just 'leave it all behind'. Those kinds of situations can have deep impacts on our nervous system functioning, our sense of self, and our ability to feel safe and secure.

Finding your sense of self again can be a long journey, but it definitely a worthy one. It might be about exploring your expectations of yourself, and whether they're really yours, or someone else's that you've internalised. It might be about figuring out who you want to be, and figuring out whether those ideas of what others seem to need from you matches that image.

I think it's important too, because even if you're not still in that situation, doesn't mean you don't need any support in healing and moving on from it. I hope that you are able to get the right support so that you can carve out space for yourself in the world, where you no longer feel you have to shrink yourself or change yourself to suit others, where you can be loudly you, and like... let the haters hate without it dimming your sparkle ever again 😋💜

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you @Jynx ❤️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Shaz51 are you okay, my friend?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

🥰 @NightFury , @Jynx

Soo much going on at the moment

Hope it all settles down soon

Missing everyone

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Sending you some gentle hugs @Shaz51 💜

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @NightFury ,

How's it all going? Your assignment finished?

Did you get up to much today?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @tyme

No, my assignment isn't done. I'm still only 500 words in. I've not touched it since Monday.

I decided to give myself a super lazy day today. I've not been 100% well this week, and so Luna and I didn't get up until 10 am, I cleaned my bathroom, did my washing, cooked fish and salad for lunch, did some of my paint by numbers and watched a lot of TV.

I plan on chipping away at my assignment on Saturday and Sunday and then giving myself another lazy day on Monday.

How's your good Friday been? I thought you were camping?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury , that's okay to have a lazy day! You go for it! It sounds like you've got it all planned out and will chip away at it on the weekend.

I'm going camping straight after the easter break, and going for a week.

So you spent the day by yourself today? Any plans for later today?

I'm glad both you and Luna had sleep in.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I've still got 9 days to work on it @tyme so I'm just breaking it up into small steps because if I look at it in it's entirety, for some reason I start to freak out about it.

Yeah, spent the day on my own. Will be on my own all Easter break. No plans for later, just dinner and bed.

I hope the weather is okay for you @tyme and that you get some down time in amongst the camping activities.

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