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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I hope you can find a way to soothe your belly-stirrings, hun whether with something like peppermint tea, some gentle stretches, or by trying to hit the hay.

Guess you could weigh up the pros and cons of attending vs not attending? It's not a paid appt, right? You could always reschedule, or show up and if you aren't feeling it there's no rule against bailing halfway through.

I'm glad no more night terrors, but it sucks that sleep is an ongoing challenge for you. Have you ever thought about a sleep study? Might not be on the cards for the immediate future but definitely worth considering...

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I decided to hit the hay @Jynx

No, it's not a paid appointment but I'll attend and see how it goes. There's a week left in the course, so I'm almost done anyway. I just...I feel like I need a break.

I have thought about a sleep study, but I don't know...I have my reservations. It is something to think about though.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

How are you today? 1 wk left until the holidays? Or the entire course?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @tyme I'm feeling pretty flat today and struggling with exhaustion.

I have 1 week left in the 8 week Mindspot OCD course I've been doing.

How's your week been treating you?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

How did it go @NightFury did you end up doing the appt?

No pressure to respond tonight btw 💜

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @Jynx

I did do the appointment. I was thinking about cancelling right up to the point where the phone rang. But, I did the appointment.

It was okay. I talked about the night terror I had, and being at the point where I wanted to give up on the course because maybe it was stirring things up too much. She thanked me for telling her and we talked about the fact that it was the first night terror in a long time, and the

chances were higher that it wasn't going to happen again. She mentioned though, that if it did happen again, I reach out and let her know. She congratulated me for making it this far through the course, because people do get to a point where they realise how hard it is or they're disappointed in the progress they've made, or the progress is too slow for them and they do give up.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work


@NightFury wrote:

Hi @tyme I'm feeling pretty flat today and struggling with exhaustion.

I have 1 week left in the 8 week Mindspot OCD course I've been doing.

How's your week been treating you?


I've had a busy busy week, but it's been enjoyable.

Anything we can do to help you feel less flat?

Only ONE more working day!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

One more working day @tyme and no, I don't think there's anything, but thank you for asking.

I'm glad you week's been enjoyable. A busy week also makes the week go quickly.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Don't get me wrong, I think it's been a hard week, but I feel 'good' because I'm learning new things @NightFury

As lifelong learners, I think that's what keeps us going.

Things get boring when there's nothing to learn.

Do you have an RDO coming up at all?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I agree @tyme

I feel like I have a lot to learn in my new job. Sometimes it's overwhelming, but it's also exciting and I can feel myself growing.

I have an RDO on Monday. Three day weekend!

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