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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That sounds incredibly distressing @NightFury - I'm sorry that it has happened again, it makes sense that a lot of very intense feelings are coming up for you.

I'm also sorry that you would get in trouble for something outside of your control as a kid. That feels pretty unfair, and I guess it makes sense that you had to develop SOME way of coping, since you weren't getting comfort and safety from your primary caregivers.

Do you think it's worth bringing it up in the next session of the course? Could be worth asking for some tips for managing/self-soothing, only if you are comfortable doing so of course 💜

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It is and I hate it @Jynx

Maybe. I don't know if I want to do the next session, because I don't want to go back there and go through having night terrors like that again.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Is there someone from the course you can contact about your concerns @NightFury? It may feel like it will only exacerbate things, but it could also end up helping. And it might be good to get some support instead of trying to muddle through alone. But if it does feel too overwhelming to keep attending, that is also valid. You can take a break and come back to it, right?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

What's Insight Timer like? @NightFury I'll have a look

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It was recommended to me when I was in SANE's Guided Recovery by the counsellor I was talking to @tyme

It has a lot of different things, like guided meditations, breathwork, singing bowls, music etc from different artists or creators. I don't think it's free. I think I paid for it.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yeah there is someone I could contact @Jynx. We only have a couple of weeks left in the course - it's only an 8 week one. It seems silly to take a break now, but contacting someone to talk about my concerns could be an option.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I paid for a few and they were totally not my type... so that's why I stuck to Smiling Mind. I really like smiling mind because it gives you the science behind the activities @NightFury

How are you today?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @tyme

I am...I don't know how I am. I'm just putting one foot in front of the other.

We played bowls today. I played badly, so I'm disappointed and I feel like I have no time this weekend.

How's your Saturday been?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's just the way it is sometimes. One foot in front of the other. @NightFury

I've been pretty okay. Just taking a day at a time too. I've got a lot of things to do, but I'm only doing what I can.

At least I feel better today after having some iron supplements. My iron has been super low which means I've been exhausted.

How'd you go today? Any assignments due soon?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Today was hard @tyme

The group of old friends I ran into, were like my family for three years. I saw them every Friday and Saturday night. We went on trips together, we worked together. To cut a long story short, I turned up to work sick one day. I'd tested negative for COVID and just felt like I had a cold. Well...the next day, I tested positive. When I told them...I was accused of putting the business at risk, their health at risk, their families at risk because I was selfish. They asked me to leave the group, because I had made it awkward and horrible for everyone. Everyone stopped talking to me. This put me into a deep deep hole.

Seeing them today together, and me being there alone...it was just so hard. I am sitting at home now feeling exhausted.

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