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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It's a lot and I don't know how much of it I'm taking in @AuntGlow

I'm nervous about...whether I know how to do it all properly yet, about making mistakes and not doing it well.

I'm excited because it feels like I'm contributing, like I'm helping and supporting people. I'm excited to be working with clients, working with people and working to improve their quality of life.

I had a shower earlier. I just felt like I needed it, and it helped. I'm going to head to bed soon. I feel like I've been using sleep this week to avoid tough emotions and triggering thoughts that have been coming up. Is that...I don't know...is that an okay thing to do?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

To be honest, we are never too good at something the first go. It's expected, right? But if you put so much pressure on yourself to be perfect the first time, then it's close to a guaranteed fail.

So tell yourself to go slow and be kind to yourself. Hiccups WILL happen. Expect them, then know you can improve from there @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you @tyme

It's something that I'm working on - being okay with making mistakes and allowing myself to be a learner in that regard.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

True @NightFury . I think it happens to most of us. We strive to be perfect (which isn't a bad thing)... but if we fall, then we hit hard.

I guess it's about being realistic about ourselves, and sometimes we need others to point things out.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Well, thank you for pointing it out @tyme

I have always struggled with having high expectations of myself and then falling hard when I can't meet them.It's something from childhood.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I have too @NightFury . Expected a lot from myself.... then over time, I just had to accept that it's not reality....

I guess thinking this way is better than people who think they are the best... right?

What are you doing tomorrow? Anything planned? Or just assessments?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I agree, it's better than those who think they are the best @tyme

Tomorrow, will be a busy day, I think. I have an inspection on Monday morning, so I'll scrub my house from top to bottom, then I need to put a lot of work into my next assignment. I'm also having a load of wood delivered, so will have to stack that before Monday.

What do you have planned for the rest of your weekend?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I will be on the forums for a short time tomorrow @NightFury , then later in the day, I promised my niece I'd get her ice cream. I made a pinky promise so that's sealed!

Apart from that, not much. I've got volunteer work that I have to do on the computer, so i might do that too.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Absolutely! A pinky promise is no joke! @tyme sounds like a good day.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Sounds like a good day tomorrow @tyme 😊

Hello 😊 @NightFury

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