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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I was also going to say, all that learning is actually really helpful for teaching too @NightFury

I only learnt it in my masters. It was never in grad courses.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @tyme

Both...we go to houses, or into schools, or day programs, or clients come into the clinic for appointments.

It's going to be useful learning for my new job and for my Masters I think. I can see how it all connects.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

All the best with it @NightFury . I hear it can be anxiety provoking too, but hopefully you can settle into the job really soon.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yeah, me too @tyme

How are you going with Smiling Mind?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

LOL.. thanks accountability partner. Unfortunately, I've only done 2 sessions over the week. I AM doing it though! I have found even one session and help me reset which is actaully a really good thing.

I can really feel the difference when I do it now. What about you? @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Well done for doing it, my friend.

I've done 6 nights @tyme I missed one simply because I got so tired that I forgot. One session made me cry. That one was tough.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Well done! @NightFury

I hope that my 30-40 nights, you'll be able to feel the effects of it more and more.

I think that it works so much better for me now because I took the time before to practice, practice and practice more - consecutively for over a month.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I need to be kinder to myself though if I miss a night here and there @tyme it's not on purpose. I just...am really tired by the end of the day.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It's totally ok if you miss a day here and there @NightFury . You wouldn't want it to become a chore. @NightFury

Later, you may find that you can do it throughout the day. For example, sometimes, I practice deep breathing whilst I'm driving and it calms me right down.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Wow! That's really interesting content. How is it sitting with you? @NightFury

Eeep, very exciting!!

What are you feeling nervous about and what are you looking forward to?

I can imagine things will change as you feel more connected to the work and the organisation as a whole - people in mental health love a yap (I should know). 😜

I understand why this would all feel like a lot... can you do anything grounding for yourself tonight? 💛

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