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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @NightFury @AlwaysMyself @Shaz51 and others. Missed everyone!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @tyme it's lovely to see you. I hope you had a great trip and an excellent time.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

You won't get rid of me easily @NightFury , unless you ever WANT me to go! 😋

I know its hard to accept sometimes that we want to be here with/for you, thats OK. I'm still here even when you dont understand why. 😊😉

I hear you on the short-term supports vs needing longterm consistent support. I am glad that EAP and SANE counsellors were able to be of benefit for the duration of those sessions, and that while it sucks that it can be a constant support, it was a "known" short-term and not a personal abandonment. Not sure if it feels much consolation, but i hope that it hurts less than if it were expected to be enduring?

Speaking of constant, enduring supportive people -- welcome back @tyme 😊🥰. How many years you been a forumite for now??

(I know its not the same as a dedicated 1:1 private support though @NightFury )

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello @Chasingsunsets!

How are you today? 🫶

I did enjoy studying it, I am actually thinking about revisiting my course content, because I think it could be quite helpful for supporting everyone here. 🥰

What have you learned or explored so far in your research? 🤩

And yes, it's so interesting how the body can have responses to even the smallest of things - it's a very clever and sensitive system.

Gentle heart openings and psoas muscle releases can be sooo helpful, but should be done so very, very gently and over time - this is called titration. It allows us to open up these spaces safely. Some people who have experienced trauma may find opening these spaces quite vulnerable at first. But when we do, it can feel like such a huge emotional release and can cultivate a safe connection to self.

Good question! What was the thread called?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

hello and hugs @NightFury , @AlwaysMyself , @tyme , @AuntGlow 😍

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

You won't get rid of me easily either my awesome friend @NightFury 😍

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you @Shaz51 @AlwaysMyself it's great to have you both in my support corner.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

What's been happening @NightFury ?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Umm...in summary I guess @tyme

A week before Christmas I was diagnosed with OCD, Generalised Anxiety Disorder and Depression, so I've been trying to sit with that and process it.

I have been on holidays for the last four weeks. I got the start date for my new job today. I've stepped out of teaching and landed a job as a Behaviour Support Practitioner. I start on the 27th of January. I'm feeling excited but also anxious because I don't know what to expect.

Uni is back and this week is the first week of my Master's. I have my first assignment due on Sunday.

I am currently trying to find some support and struggling with it. Because I'm no longer teaching, I can no longer see the counsellor I was seeing through EAP. And I was told by my the psychiatrist who did my assessment that I need to find a more qualified and OCD specialised psychologist who uses ERP. My GP referred me to an intake and referral service who has basically sent me a list of psychologists and wished me luck in finding one that's right for me. So far...there is only one local psychologist who practices ERP and his books are filled. So...I'm kinda stuck.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Wow. You really keep yourself going. It feels like only yesterday that you finished your last course!

Hope the Master's goes well. I enjoyed my Masters much more than my other courses only because it was more specific to my interest.

As for your EAP, when does your contract end? If you are still being paid over the school holidays, then you are still eligible for EAP, right?

With your new role, will you get external supervision to support you? Is the role 1:1 behaviour support? @NightFury

All the best for the 27th!

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