FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

2,911 - 2,920 of 3,920

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

If it's any consolation, I actually have the utmost faith in you to make the right decisions. I am sensing you may need some space to feel what you're feeling first... could you journal at all? Even just your one sentence? @NightFury

This is good to know! How did that session feel for you?

I think you absolutely could. Is this something you'd feel okay asking around for? 🫶

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I don't know what I feel @AuntGlow it just feels like a big emotional block and I don't know why. Yes, as I've discussed with Jynx, there's an element of overwhelm which triggers shut down. Initially my reaction was..."What? I have to do this myself? I don't know how to do any of this...I don't know what I'm doing. There are too many steps. I'm not."

But also...there's an emotional reaction to and I don't understand it. When I read your reply about taking space to feel what I'm feeling and journalling about it, I got teary and my throat closed up like I'm going to cry. I'll try to journal it out tomorrow.

My session with the Psych from Some One Health was very...hard hitting. But he wasn't quite the right approach for me. I need someone gentler. At least, I learnt that.

I think that might be the way to go. I think, with the uncertainty around my new work hours and so forth, something telehealth might be the best place to start.

But saying that, I can try and see how asking around feels? That's all I can do...is try.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow @Snowie

Journalling related

Ive got so much on my mind that I can’t talk about on the forums. Thoughts and emotions I want to try to get out.

I’ve only had 2 appointments with new psychologist, next appointment in about 5 weeks time. Referral sent to psychiatrist about 3rd week of December by GP, waiting to see if am accepted onto her caseload.

is journaling something that might be something for me to try? Any tips or suggestions? Any recommended websites that I can read regarding journaling?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I understand what you mean, my brain can do the same. @NightFury 💛

It happens a lot when I feel like there's a big decision or too much pressure and fear of failure... maybe a question you could ask yourself (as an experiment) is "What would I choose if I knew I couldn't get it wrong and it would all work out in my favour?"

You're allowed to have big emotions and you're allowed to cry. I know this is a lot and your reactions make sense. I would love to hear more about your journaling when you have explored it. 🥰

This is really good information to have and know about yourself.

Absolutely, all you can do is try. And you know what? You're allowed to try, and learn, and try again, and grow, and try again, and even fail! ... and try again. Some experiences are painful and can be unfair or unjust, but some also lead us to where we need to be. Like your experience with the first online psychologist - it wasn't right for you, but you learned what is. 🫶

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It sounds like journaling would be a really wonderful and safe space for you to process your feelings and experiences @Flutterbug9 🫶

How have your appointments felt so far? Last I remember, it went really well!

Here is a great article that explains journaling, different journaling types, and provides prompts:

https://www.mindmypeelings.com/blog/journaling-mental-health

I can also recommend The Holistic Psychologist's Future-Self Journaling guide, which helps to work with neuroplasticity and conscious rewiring!

https://theholisticpsychologist.com/free-resources/future-self-journal/

Let me know how you go. 💖

@NightFury @Shaz51 @Cuddlebear @AlwaysMyself @creative_writer @Captain24 @MissGremlin @avant-garde tagging you too, in case you're interested!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @Flutterbug9

I find journaling helps with getting emotions/thoughts out of my head. A lot I can't share on here because of guidelines, which I know have to be in place. The last thing I want to do it upset or traumatize someone else.

I do journaling a few different ways. I have a specific journal that I write it in most of the time. I don't follow any certain instructions, I just let it all come out. Sometimes it's on a specific topic, other times it's all jumbled up. Sometimes I might read back what I've written in the next day or two, but often will just turn the page and start anew.

The other way I journal is getting a blank piece of paper and writing down all my thoughts. Some of it includes suicidal and self harm thoughts. It can include my deepest, darkest thoughts. Some I am too scared to even talk to my psych or pdoc about.

After I've written it all down, I will get the piece of paper and normally rip it up. Rip it into lots of tiny pieces and throw it away. It can feel like a weight has lifted from me.

So that's how I journal. I will say that it doesn't always work. It's not a magical cure, but it can help. For me it's just another thing to add to my tool box.

I hope you find this useful. If you have any other questions about journaling, I am happy to help.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thanks @Snowie

much appreciated

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @Snowie,

I really love that you’re journaling those tough thoughts and then letting them go - it’s such a powerful way to take care of yourself. That shows so much strength and self-awareness.

If you ever feel comfortable, sharing some of those thoughts with your practitioner could be another great step forward.

And just to remember, if things ever feel overwhelming, Lifeline is always there on 13 11 14, or the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467, or call 000 if there’s any immediate danger.

I encourage you to keep connecting with your peers on the forum and leaning into the community - you’re not alone in this, and every step you take is moving you closer to feeling better. You’re doing something amazing for yourself, and there’s real hope ahead.

Thank you,

liminalzest

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thanks for the support @liminalzest

I have let my psych read certain parts of my journal. Sometimes I can't say it out loud so show her so she knows what I'm thinking/feeling. Mostly, it's just for my eyes.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow I did see that you weren't here for a couple of days but I wanted to share while it was still fresh.

I journalled this morning following up on the conversation we had about my feelings regarding the whole intake and referral process.

I wrote about how I was afraid to fail, to let myself and others down. In that, I wrote about how I was scared to labelled as "difficult" and that if I didn't find an ERP therapist as recommended in the treatment plan, and didn't follow the plan perfectly, things would get worse.

I wrote about being scared of the increased vulnerability of face to face appointments. And I wrote about how I was frustrated. I'm frustrated because I connected well with the SANE counsellor, and with the EAP counsellor and both of those situations were only temporary. Everyone always leaves.

2,911 - 2,920 of 3,920