FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

2,901 - 2,910 of 3,920

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good afternoon @NightFury 🥰

How are you feeling today?

It's so heartwarming to know that having us around has been helpful in allowing you to feel held. 🥹

ooh - big week!! What is your first subject? And I am sure going back to lawn bowls will be good for your sense of connection and passion.

I understand all of the things you have shared around depression. The shame of feeling broken can be so much to carry... what do you think would happen if you put it down for a moment and looked at it as an experience or a part of you that needs some extra love and care? For example, what do you think depression would tell you if they had their own voice?

Oh wow, that would be so incredibly hard for her. She is very lucky to have you to confide in. How did it feel to support her? You're quite a natural nurturer. ☺️

Hmm, that would be very uncomfortable to experience. Have these sensations shifted at all?

That's amazing!! It sounds like you were able to listen and learn from them? It's okay to feel uncomfortable, that's definitely part of it! I think the key is being curious and allowing things to unfold as they are without force or pressure. 🫶

Regarding your brother, that sounds like such a rollercoaster, my gosh! I would have been so heartbroken with the disconnect as well, especially after the vulnerability of putting yourself out there to connect, you know? Having him there at Christmas would have felt so jarring too. Did he explain why there was distance? How did it feel after you saw him? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow it's a surprise to see you here on a Sunday. How are you?

I am feeling a little unwell and a little down today. I kind of seem to be fighting a bit of a throat virusy thingymabob. So today, I am resting and trying to get on top of whatever's going on.

My first subject is Mental Health in Schools. We've started off by looking at the concept of resilience. I have my first assignment due on Sunday. I haven't started it yet, but I'm a week ahead of the course work so I have all of next week to work at it.

I've tried to let go of the idea that I'm broken, but it keeps coming back. I'm not sure how to put it down. But I think my depression would tell me that I've been carrying too much for far too long.

It felt good to support my friend, to hold space for her. She has a son, and I think she's lonely and doesn't have many people to talk to, so I can relate to that.

Sometimes they shift and go away, sometimes they return and stick around for a time. Like yesterday I was really twitchy, but also feeling a little under the weather and down. So, I think it's to do with my emotions.

My brother didn't explain the distance. So, I still don't know why or what happened. After seeing him, I felt jealous of my Dad because I so wanted to talk to my brother and share some things with him, but my Dad did all the talking and it was difficult to get a word in. But it didn't feel right to be jealous of my Dad. He has every right to want to spend time with his son, whom he hasn't seen in years.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Shaz51 Has the cyclone come? Are you ok?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

cyclone is gone now @Cuddlebear , just rain now xx and I am all good

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow if you have some time, can we chat about something?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yes, of course!! I was just about to respond to your last post - letting you know I am doing so now. @NightFury 🫶

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hellooo @NightFury

I was doing some extra hours to help out. My roster will look a little different this year, so don't be surprised if I pop up randomly to say hi! 😋

Ah, I feel like so many people have viruses and flus at the moment! How are you feeling today?

This is a perfect subject for you! When it comes to resilience in schools, what would you like to discuss/explore most?

I really appreciate this reflection: "I think my depression would tell me that I've been carrying too much for far too long." What does your depression say it needs in order to put some of this weight down? 💛

I am really, really glad you had this moment of connection. Could you confide in her at all?

I think you are allowed to notice and feel your jealousy/vulnerability too. It just shows how much you care and want time to connect as well. Would you feel comfortable talking to your brother and addressing the distance at all?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow the Psychiatrist who did my assessment before Christmas wrote in her treatment plan for me that I needed to seek a psychologist who did ERP.

When I went to my GP last Monday, she wrote me a referral to intake and referral service. They contacted me on Wednesday and sent me through a list of recommended private Psychology practices. I had to look at the services and make contact with the ones I thought might be good for me. I had a look, and sent off a few emails to the practices. None had ERP listed, when I emailed the intake and referral service, she helped me to narrow down to a few clinics. So I contacted those clinics and found a psychologist who does ERP, but his books are full.

The referral service rang me today and asked me how I was going with it and I told them that I was kind of stuck and explained why. I need help with it. It's overwhelming, I don't know what I need, and feel like it's hard to make a decision on which Psych matches my needs, I don't know if I can financially afford it. I only found one Psych who uses ERP and I can't get in to see him, so I don't know what to do about that? Do I just see someone else and put that aside? I'm so confused and frustrated and overwhelmed. I didn't know how to communicate that properly and so, I didn't communicate it at all. She basically said..."well, I'll let your GP know where you're at with it, hopefully they have some ideas and advice. Good luck with it all."

I feel like I'm failing at finding support for myself. I feel like I'm letting my GP down, because I haven't moved forward with this, because I haven't been able to choose. I don't have any supports at the moment - my counsellor was through EAP and I'm no longer a teacher, and the Psychologist I was seeing...well, she doesn't have the skill set to help me with my OCD diagnosis and it wasn't working well anyway. I feel really...alone.

Do you have any advice?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I am here with you and I completely understand just how overwhelming it can feel to not know the next best step to take. @NightFury

Firstly, I want you to know that you haven't let anyone down and you are most certainly putting in the leg work here! I can see you are trying very hard to get support and the limited availability is absolutely frustrating, but not at all on you.

It sounds like your options are feeling limited, but maybe we can think outside of the box... for example, would you consider exploring an online service like Someone Health, just for now? This may act as a temporary treatment plan and could be really helpful! https://someone.health/therapy/ocd

Alternatively, maybe you could explore a 'matching session' with one of the local psychology clinics, to see who can best support you? There is a chance that someone will have aligned skills to help you manage OCD!

What are your thoughts on these ideas?

(I encourage you to listen to your body here, and if it's saying 'no' then that's great!! This is more information for us to go with. 🫶)

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow my options are feeling limited and I don't know if I trust myself to make the right decision for myself. Actually, I'm pretty sure I don't trust myself to make those decisions.

Someone Health would work. I already have a referral for them. I've had one session with a Psych from Someone Health. I would just need to look into their options for OCD.

Maybe a matching session would also work. Maybe I could stumble upon someone who could help support me with my OCD and skills and strategies to help manage it.

2,901 - 2,910 of 3,920