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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh I love that @NightFury re markets. I wish I had markets like that close by!!

That is an awesome thing to do re trying something new once a month, what a great idea! I’d love to hear what you get up to along the way 😊

It makes sense those feelings comes up during the exercises, I’ll have to do a bit more research and I am sure Auntglow can tell us about it a bit more, but from the intention of the stretches it’s releasing emotions you potentially hold in your hips? Including unconscious emotions I’d say. I find all this stuff so interesting. I can see how it could be uncomfortable for you and wonder if it stops after you do the exercises or if it has a residual effect, I’ll definitely have to do some reading.

Yeah I guess as you said you suppress it, like myself most people do with anything uncomfortable, my sister does have anger/ frustration as one of her emotions she deals with and i know she finds crying helps and intense exercise.

I am not sure if I hold anger inside, obviously I definitely get angry but I think what could be my main emotion held in is fear, similar concept though re intense emotions- Have you heard of the dive reflex? It’s been the only think that has been able to tackle intense strong emotions for me, (the exercise does have some health warnings so check those before you try it if your interested) but is a healthy circuit breaker for me and I only learnt it last year out of all the years I have been in touch with health professionals 😂. Anyway I simplify the exercise and just do the steps and ice pack on face or chest.

I do wonder though if by doing these exercises I’ll have ‘emotions in my hips’ as I have not a great one at the moment or I think most of my stuff maybe held in my chest. It will be interesting to see 😊

enjoy the basketball hope it’s a good game!!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm here, hanging around outside the venue waiting for the doors to open @Chasingsunsets I'm feeling a little...overwhelmed and a lot anxious. It's noisey, there's lots of people and I got in trouble for entering through the doors when "the doors aren't open yet." This is a part of what it's about to...trying to get outside of my comfort zone.

I think that's the intention yes. So, I guess it works, in that sense.

I haven't heard of the dive reflex, but for some reason...I'm cautious. Lol.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I hope the basketball experience went OK @NightFury . I love your idea of trying something new each month 😊 and I really look forward to hearing about each of them, if you feel up to sharing about them only that is.

@Chasingsunsets @NightFury I am now very curious about these exercises... I should do strengthening & stretching, but I don't - i forget mostly, but when I do remember I am usually not motivated. I do remember to stretch my shoulder/pecs throughout the day though, because of upper back pain lol. I don't think I've seen the link from Auntglow though. If someone has it saved, can you re-post? (or how far back in pages should I look? Before 24 Dec at least i know lol)

I wish I could film and share my dogs if I lay down on the ground lol, or photos of when I use her as a pillow haha. She's so... nosy! Wants to investigate everything you're doing, and sniff your face lol. Or if she is on the couch and you are on the floor in front, she might place her paw(s) on top of you 😅. Reminds me a bit of the "goat yoga" videos/pics.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AlwaysMyself

The basketball was...it was okay? I had never been before so I had to navigate the whole situation. They were letting people in and I wandered in the doors and then got in trouble and sent back out because the "doors weren't open yet." Then I was sent to sit in my seat by an usher person and it turned out to be someone else's seat and they asked me to move, so I did. It turns out, my seat was a row below them and then I got crabby because they only stayed for half a game.

It got loud and overwhelming so I used my Loop ear plugs, which made a huge difference but at the start of the 3 rd quarter all I wanted to do was go home. I stayed until the last couple of minutes, then left to avoid the crowds.

Then on the drive home, OCD brain kicked in and I ran over something on the road, but the thought came to me, "what if I just hit a person?" And that was the end of that, I had to turn around and go back and check that the road or the man hole cover made the same sound when I drove over it again.

I did it. I went and experienced something new. I went by myself. I navigated a loud, anxiety inducing environment and I didn't bail. Did I enjoy it though? I don't feel any particular way about it.

I think the links are on page 277?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Sorry @NightFury I missed this tag I’m so sorry! I’m just going to read your post now and get back to ya 🙏

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Just a super quick one aswell for @AlwaysMyself so I don’t forget ☺️

The link from Auntglow to @NightFury 😊

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=24qDdn2QXjk

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury

If you were able to enter an area that "wasn't open yet", then that is TOTALLY on them 🤣.

Do you recall back in... (googles) 2007 ... the Chasers War on Everything stunt in Sydney for the APEC forum? (if interested: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Chaser_APEC_pranks ). Totally NOT their fault that they got through security; they kinda did a favour by showing how there was a security gap!

Of course yours isn't to that scale, but it comes to mind for me as a similar concept -- totally not your fault if the door was unlocked!

Ah, set seatings can be so confusing sometimes - trying to find the right row & numbers. And climbing over peoples laps to get in.

I know a few people who use Loop too, and love them. 🙂 I am glad they were helpful at reducing the noise level. I dislike a lot of crowd-places/events for the loudness. The only time I would go to pubs with live music was with my Deaf friends, because then I could put in ear plugs if I wanted to since we use sign language to communicate.

Leaving a few minutes early is a fantastic idea! As you say -- miss the crowd rush to exit. 😍

Aww, I'm sorry that your OCD-anxiety was triggered by the manhole cover. But you know what? The anxiety over the fact it might/could have been a person kinda shows how caring you are and how the idea of hitting someone is horrifying. Is it OK for me to say that? i hope so. I mean it in a good way, even though of course the OCD-anxiety is not a good/easy/desirable thing for you to experience.

"I did it. I went and experienced something new. I went by myself. I navigated a loud, anxiety inducing environment and I didn't bail. "

So proud of you! You are strong, courageous, and determined/persistent in the best way. 😎😍. You did it!!

I think @AuntGlow will also be very proud of you when she's back and reads about it too. 🤗

Not feeling bad about it after is also pretty impressive in my mind! Given that it was quite overwhelming sensory-wise, as well as the OCD-trigger, and the interactions with the wrong seat row and the "pre-entry testing" (😉) -- feeling OK after is pretty cool I reckon.

Were you hoping for a specific team to win? If so, did they?

Was it a close match?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

How was the basketball in the end was it a good game? @NightFury? geez well they should have made it a bit clearer that it was still closed at the start as I am sure if you didn’t go in someone else like me or @AlwaysMyself could have gone in 😊 hehe. Well done for going and again sorry I missed your post!!

Done a bit more reading on the yoga stretches then I went down a rabbit hole in reading a different topic connected but I have found it interesting some of the stuff I have read so far re stretching. How about yourself? Or not feeling it re this topic? All good if you aren’t 😊

Ohh hehe don’t worry it doesn’t include any diving or anything too bad. The exercise works by aiming to stop the stress response in your body ☺️. If you have any questions I’d be happy to chat about it more as I have found it very effective. But definitely so fine to be cautious, I am also very cautious ++ when it comes to new things.

(I also simplify it and don’t put my head in water I use an Icepack to the face so don’t let all that stuff put you off) (It’s just more from memory if you have a heart condition it’s not advised etc, I just like to put in disclaimers cos I wouldn’t want any info I share to make anyone worse ☺️) but think it’s worth sharing as it’s really effective for strong emotions. It would have been great if I was told years before last year but that’s ok! 😊


Awesome effort on getting through it! I wonder if little by little the more times you do these things once you feel more comfortable you may find you might enjoy it, I’d love to hear how you go!! It’s very inspiring 🙏

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Ahh don’t worry @AlwaysMyself I actually just don’t stretch but I should be stretching. I am always being told how tight I am lol

I’d like to stretch more. It always feels good when I do stretch haha.
@NightFury

haha that’s hilarious about your dogs @AlwaysMyself, would love a pic in the moment 😂😂 if you can capture it but you have painted a pretty good pic. She’s concerned for you haha ‘human what are you doing on the ground this is strange’ or ‘ any treats for me here?’ Lol. I’m wondering what you think about the link above? Interested in if @AuntGlow has more to share about it all 😊

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AlwaysMyself I've heard of the Chaser's War on Everything, but I haven't really engaged in it. The doors were unlocked, people were entering and exiting and I just assumed that I could go in...apparently not though.

I don't like crowds either and I find that I'm sensitive to noise. I get overloaded with lots of noise around me.

I want to learn sign language.

It was our local team, so I was hoping they'd get a win or that at the very least, it was a close game. They did win in the end - by 9 points.

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