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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good afternoon, lovely! @NightFury

Books, movies, and naps sound like the ultimate way to nurture yourself. I know it can be hard when feelings come up as we slow down... I find comfort tv shows and long warm showers help with this. 💛

Thank you for sharing this with me. How was your last day? 🥹

Please let me know how you go, I will be here to chat about all of it, okay? 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Good afternoon, @AuntGlow

I agree that long warm showers do help when all the big feelings come up.

My last day was okay. We had assembly at 11 and after assembly all but 10 kids went home, the rest went home in dribs and drabs throughout the day. We were allowed to leave at 2. I went in and tried to do some shopping. It's very...overwhelming out there at the moment with all the Christmas busyness.

I will touch base with you later about my appointment. I can't promise it'll be tonight, but if not, it will be tomorrow, if you're around? I might just need some time afterwards to process...I'll see how I feel.

It's been a long day and there's already a lot going on in my head. I'm trying to figure out how I feel about my last day with the kids, to come up with a word for your post in another thread and I can't. I don't know how I feel.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

hello @NightFury sending you lots of hugs my awesome friend ❤️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow are you still here?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey queen! Yes. Sorry, I have been playing a bit of catch-up! @NightFury

I can imagine that would have felt really surreal for you - to have the kids leave and to finish early?

And I am avoiding Christmas shopping like the plague!! haha

It's okay, you don't have to have answers to anything right now - you are allowed to just be and experience, you're going through a lot.

How was your appointment? 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I just finished my appointment @AuntGlow and I now have three diagnosis.

My brain is reeling....

OCD, Generalised Anxiety Disorder and Depression.

It's so overwhelming. And I feel choked up, like I want to cry.

@Shaz51 @Jynx @MissGremlin @AlwaysMyself @tyme

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury , I'm logging off for the evening now, but just saw your post. I hear you, the overwhelm. It's OK to cry and let it out, let it flow out and away.

Mostly wanted to remind you -- who you are now is that same person you were this morning. That you were yesterday. A diagnosis does not change anything about you, it only explains or describes your experience. You are still you.

Sending gentle love and care your way tonight. It's OK to be in shock or not sure how to feel or process it all. It's OK to feel emotions.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury oh sweet, i can hear how overwhelmed you are feeling. Sitting with you ❤️.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you @AlwaysMyself and @MissGremlin

@AlwaysMyself I know you've probably gone, but can you continue to remind me of that from time to time. I'm not sure I feel it at the moment...

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I am here with you, lovely. @NightFury

I know how hard this feels and it can be so scary to be given a diagnosis or a label, but I encourage you to sit with the idea that this is just information. Information that will allow you to better understand and nurture yourself - and how amazing to now know that your experiences really are OCD (that they now have some explanation). 🥰

It also might be helpful to know that OCD is under the umbrella of anxiety and that depression symptoms often come up with anxiety too. So, it's very common to be diagnosed with all three - (even ADHD too). They can all impact one another. You are absolutely not alone or out of the ordinary AT ALL. Please know that.

But before I ramble on, what thoughts and feelings are coming up for you? 💛

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