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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury it was the same for me in that as a child/teenager it would happen every night but then it settled down but it was earlier this year that I experienced it again and it's happened very regularly since then. I completely understand that fear of it being here to stay. It's where I'm at with seeing things that aren't real and hearing voices. The doctor thinks they'll settle once the medication is out of my system but I haven't taken it since Wednesday night and I'm still experiencing those things plus now the withdrawals from the medication.

I'm usually up late but last 2 nights I just physically haven't been able to keep my eyes open and I've fallen asleep while trying to talk to people.

It really is confusing and conflicting.

I hear you and it's ok that you have that, it's something that you can find comfort in.

We can try to come up with a plan together if you like? I know i definitely need something to help today cos I've been all over the place.

I'm going to have an iced coffee I reckon, it's a bit warm at the moment so I need something refreshing. What are you going to have?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx what's your drink of choice tonight?

I'm gonna have an iced coffee 😊

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx it does help to know that I'm not alone. I think sometimes when everything feels so...dysregulated, it's easy to believe that you are entirely alone in your experiences and no one sees, hears or knows...so maybe in talking about it here today, I needed to challenge that. I find that I have a lot of shame around my OCD brain's thoughts and sharing them is hard. I think it's why I struggle to really properly convey to my psychologist the impact it can have on me. She is of the belief that it doesn't have a big impact on my life...so it's nothing to worry about.

I've heard a few times now.."you're functional so..." it's like...an assumption that people make about me. It's like they're implying that I'm functioning okay in life so...why do I need support? The whole..."you're functional," thing has been floating around in my head and it's become something that I've been using against myself..."oh, but you're functioning."

I'm soso appreciative that I have people here in my corner.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

We will absolutely be here for you @NightFury.

Okay, can you name one thing for each sense that you could connect with in order to create some comfort tonight? 💛

You might like to add one thing you can do for your mind as well - but remember, there is no right or wrong, you're just exploring what works for you right now.

And we are here to hold that safe container @MissGremlin @Jynx @AlwaysMyself @Shaz51 @tyme🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@MissGremlin I don't know...is it okay though? I'm really judgey of myself when it comes to the things that I need to do to support myself...or to provide comfort or regulation.

Coming up with a plan together sounds good.

I think i'll make a cup of tea, earl grey with some honey. I finished a coffee not long ago, so a tea it is.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Sitting with you @NightFury , @AuntGlow 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow

Sound - Luna's sleep breathing. She pants and puffs when she sleeps and both the sound and the rocking movement helps me to feel soothed.

Sight - keep a low light on somewhere in the house. Waking up in the dark makes the fear worse.

Smell - Not sure on this one...Maybe a hot shower before bed, and use the body wash and a chai tea before bed. The chai/cinnamon smell is amazing.

Touch - Something that makes me feel warm and cozy and snuggly. I've lit my fire...it's not cold, but I've lit my fire because it's soothing. Big baggy PJ's. And maybe my weighted bunny for cuddling in bed.

Taste - not sure on this one...a chai tea and chocolate?

I don't really know things I can do to help my mind?

@Shaz51gremlins in my support button again, but I am supporting your reply! ❤️

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you for tagging me @AuntGlow , because I do want to help support you @NightFury where/when I can. 🥰

Yesterday sounds really really difficult. And reading your post I was really impressed with how you handled it - from the delaying to the calming to the seeing if anyone was online.

I'm sorry to hear both you and @MissGremlin are experiencing this. But i am glad you are both able to co-support because you understand it well. Big hugs to you both.

Would love to know how I can help with your plan for tonight. I wish i could volunteer to be online after the 10pm PSW ends, but i know I can't (unless i have insomnia) because I have to work tomorrow. 😥 BUT you can abdolutely write me posts knowing I will look for them tomorrow and make sure to read them, if that helps at all. Tell me all about whatever you need to "get out" - with no judgement. Fear is debilitating.

And I really related to the whole "but you're functioning" thing. People see me as functioning becaude i push myself and mask up when i need to. But those who know what's been going on behind the scenes know i have been anything but coping overall 😅 for 2 years. I was very fortunate to have someone online a few nights ago when I was looking for someone to talk to. I look at the "recent comments" filter on the homepage to see who has posted within the last 30min and might still be online 😉.

Please do tag me to let me know how i can best support.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I wonder if making a chai tea and putting it an thermos for during the night would be a good idea @NightFury ?

That way if you need you can both smell and taste the chai??

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury it's completely ok sweet, we'll take it one step at a time.

A cup of tea with some honey sounds perfect 😊

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