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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury oooo I find op shops great for picking up interviewy clothes! Do you have any in your neighbourhood?

I haven't heard of those first two! But Frankenstein sounds awesome - I still need to watch the new Nosferatu movie too!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

We have a couple of op shops in the area but none that are open tomorrow @Jynx.

I paid attention in the first half of Frankenstein but somehow zoned out in the second half even though I was awake and "watching." The first half was good though.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

oooh an interview on Monday @NightFury that is great! Congrats! (I think even getting an interview is a sign of a good application & skillset - only a handful of people get interviews for a single role).

Kmart should have some professional-looking clothes. 🙂 I've gotten nice simple plain black pants from there or Target in the past. 🙂 As long as it is neat and clean it doesn't need to be anything fancy. 🙂 ..unless you are interviewing as a model and then I have no idea hahaha

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Umm...I'm not interviewing as a model @AlwaysMyself it's for a position as a groups programs worker for a mental health organisation.

Most of our Target stores have closed, and I don't go into town. So, it's Kmart or Big W and I'm on a bit of a tight budget.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I've heard that Target closed up shop in a few of the rural country towns 😞 I think some near a friend of mine did. I'l be very surprised if you can't find something suitable. 🙂 My view with work clothes is that *I* don't have to personally like them, as long as they are suitable to the role/environment and they are comfortable to wear. I bought a shirt once with that philosophy - it had sparkly things on it, which I am not a fan of, but over the years it has grown on me to be a shirt I quite like! 😛

@NightFury would love to hear how you feel after the interview on Monday if you feel like sharing.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I don't do sparkles or flowery florals or anything like that either @AlwaysMyself I tend to go for oversized and comfortable. Which doesn't always apply to work clothes.

I have work clothes that I wear to work now, but I don't know if they're interview standard work clothes. It won't hurt to have a look amd to break up this...two day couch potato adventure I've been on.

I'm happy to share. I'm just struggling with confidence and struggling with a bit of a storm of emotions around work at the moment. @Jynx

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury legiiit - you in a smaller town? I am so used to city-living now, I forget about stuff like that. Town I grew up in, definitely not a lotta shops open on Sundays!

Bit of those dissociatey vibes eh? Would you go back and watch again? Maybe the movie was just boring in the second half lol

I think hun, considering everything you've been through with your last workplace, it makes sense that you're feeling nervous! Have you ever seen that ted talk about power posing? It's here if you're curious - but yeah maybe you could do some power poses before the interview!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm in suburbia, but it's small suburbia compared to big capital cities and their surrounding suburbs @Jynx

I think I was a bit dissociatey. I don't even remember what I was doing at the time. I just zoned out. I could always go back and watch again.

Thank you for the link. I haven't seen it, but I'll watch it before Monday's interview.

I've had a lot of anger come up this weekend - even now, talking about it. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. To sum it up, I'm angry that they couldn't see my value and have made me feel like I don't have any value. I'm angry that in their announcement to the staff they made it sound like it was my chouce to leave. I'm angry because I'm confused about why - and I feel like it's because...I don't fit the mould. I have dreadlocks and tattoos and I'm not Catholic (I teach in a Catholic school) and it feels like a rejection of me. I'm angry at myself because...I worked so so hard and pushed through things like my Grandad's death and only took a couple of days off when it happened because I put the school first and...and they can't or don't see. I gave it all I had and it still wasn't enough.

@AuntGlow

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

*hugs @NightFury * That is rough (work). I'm sorry to hear that you experienced that. I'm not sure it is any consolation, but know that you are not alone in your experiences - I have seen it happen (as someone without any power to influence), and in some things I can personally relate in my own experiences also.

But there are workplaces that aren't like that too, so that I hope can give some hope.

Dreadlocks and tattoos... sounds my type of person 😛 Although I never had either - but I have liked both since I was an early/pre-teen. I wouldn't "fit the mould" for a catholic/christian school that was judgemental on those things either - even though I am a christian! 😅 I hope you don't take their non-acceptance of you personally -- it's more a reflection on their own limited views in my opinion at least.

Ahh time for me to sign off. Waaayyy too late. I have been transferring & sorting photos from my phone to my laptop, and kept telling myself "just a few more and I'll stop sorting them". But now I will!! I can resume it tomorrow after all.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I forgot to say, welcome back @AlwaysMyself and I hope your trip went well?

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