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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3919 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 thinking of you this afternoon. I'll be around later, so happy to chat if you're feeling up to it.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Ru-beeI’ve filled out a safety plan using the resource you gave me. It’s kind of confronting but it’s something I have now.

I don’t have anyone to talk to when these feelings and thoughts come up - no support network. And I feel kind of sensitive about that. It's come up for me a little recently. I put the forums down as a place to come for support.

edit @Jynx @AuntGlow - so that I don't have three posts in a row...

I am ashamed and worried and teary. As well as the safety plan, I emailed the counsellor from SANE that I spoke to on Monday and just mentioned that self-injury was something to add to the list of things to talk about.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

Glad to hear from you.

I know you are doing your best. I can see you are doing what you can to see if you can get over this bump in the road. Remember, there are supports out there.

Are there things that have been working well for you recently?

I know you have your studies, work and everything else. Have you been able to put aside some protected time for yourself?

I arrived home yesterday arvo. I'm a tad exhausted, but I wanted to say hello to everyone here - my forums fam.

I'm not staying online, so I'll respond when I'm able.

I just want to say that it's really good to hear from you 🙂

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I just wanna say...

It's really good to hear from you, too. I value my connections with you.

I hope you had a good time away?

What's working well? I was going to say nothing...but then self-corrected. Drawing is working well, I'm really enjoying it and the kids at work have been throwing me drawing challenges. It feels good to be able to give something to them, but it also helps me to calm my brain a little and to focus on something that's not anxiety.

If I'm honest with you, I think the answer to whether I've managed to put aside some protected time for myself...the answer is not really. Everything I seem to do at the moment, is for someone else.

And just sayin'...I don't feel like I'm doing my best at the moment.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hearing it's been a rough couple of days @NightFury how you travelling this evening?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx It's been a challenge.

I'm tired, brain foggy and heavy headed. Too many thoughts today. It's been a long day, a long week and I'm keen just to disappear into my lounge and not come out for the rest of the weekend.

I did get to deliver a birthday present to my beautiful niece this afternoon, which was lovely to hear her laughter and see her so happy.

How are you?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury aww some chill vibes sounds choice then hey.

That sounds wholesome as!! Naww 😍

I'm not too bad, also in chill-mode just listening to the sound of the rain. Procrastinating my household chores as per 😅

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx household chores are so frustrating. You do them and within a few days they need to be done again.

My niece loves ducks, so I took her a duck toy. It waddles around the house on wheels and sings the five little ducks song. It came with four baby ducklings that attach to the mother by magnet and get dragged along behind her. She loved it.

It gave what's been a really rough day a little bit of light and shiny.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Haha @NightFury where's that meme of Sisyphus rolling the boulder up but it's labelled like 'the fecking laundry again' 🤣

Aww that is SO wholesome, yes sounds like a very precious moment to return to whenever it is feeling a bit dark, eh?

🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

OMG, @Jynx I haven't seen it, but it sounds like it fits the situation perfectly.

Yeah, I surprised myself when I put my brother's house on my safety plan as somewhere to go when I'm feeling blergh. They don't need to know why, but the kids are just...special and heart warming.

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