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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @tyme

Step by step, day by day. I'm okay today, a bit anxious brained, but okay.

How are you?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm pretty okay.

Glad to hear you are going step by step. Anything you are doing in particular to help calm down the anxious brain?

Are you going to work tomorrow? @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I guess I'm using distraction to try and calm my anxious brain @tyme I'm watching Wednesday on Netflix.

And doing some deep, slow breathing.

I am back at work tomorrow and that's part of the anxiety, I think.

I'm glad to hear you're pretty okay.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I think the brain slowly learns to make a connection between work and anxiety if something does break the connection. I wonder if it's good to work on that?

Have you had your EAP appt yet?

Is Wednesday some horror show or something? I've heard of it but don't know anything about it. @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Not yet @tyme my appointment's on the 15th. So, not this Monday, but next.

It might be good to work on that, I agree. I only get three appointments, I wonder if it's really enough time to work on something?

Wednesday is based off the Addam's family. It tells the story of their daughter Wednesday when she goes off to school. It's a bit dark, wouldn't call it horror though.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Oh yes! So this gothic sorta stuff? I remember Wednesday. lol. Not really my cuppa tea though.

As for the EAP, remember, it's three sessions, but you can request more for each 'situation' you go through @NightFury

As I said, I got 3 and another 3, but I didn't end up using the additional three.

@NightFury

I hope you feel better soon.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That must have been really tough... @NightFury, I am glad to hear you're taking today slow.

What have you been doing for yourself today?

It's been nice! A healthy mix of work and play, but definitely craving more 'me' time this week.

Thank you for asking. 🥰

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yeah, kinda gothic stuff @tyme I'm not into the gothic stuff either, but I like fantasy and science fiction. I like things that are different. So, it fits, I guess.

I forgot that you mentioned you could request more. Thank you for the reminder.

Me too @tyme, me too. I hate feeling like this.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Last night @AuntGlow I felt really unsafe, and it was tough to get to sleep, even with sleep meds in my system. When I did doze off, I woke at around midnight from a nightmare that felt like I got trapped in. I woke up scared. My anxiety meds have been good at keeping the nightmares at bay, but now I'm coming off them...I guess they're still there.

So today, I did some house work this morning, but I've spent the afternoon relaxing in front of the TV, doing some diamond dot painting and trying to nap. I've been lazy, but it's also something that I needed before going back to work tomorrow.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Goodness, it really does sound like things were a lot for you last night. I am so sorry to hear you were feeling scared and unsafe... please know you can always call a helpline when you feel this way. What might help you to feel a little safer tonight? @NightFury

I don't see this as lazy at all, I see it as you taking time to really allow your body some rest time so you can show up for work tomorrow. This is really, really positive and I am glad you're noticing when you need to soothe and support yourself.

I know that healing and processing will take time, but I am curious to know if there's anything you are able to do to honour your grandfather this week? I like some of the healing strategies on Griefline's website actually. You may find them helpful: https://griefline.org.au/resources/coping-with-grief/

Let me know how you go and chat more tomorrow. 🥰

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