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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx and why do they change so rapidly...

I'm trying to be kind to myself, but sometimes it's not easy.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury tell me about it 😒

Yeah it can be so hard sometimes, especially if we're also exhausted from it all hey. Have you done anything nice for yourself today? Even just a hot shower or touching grass totally counts 😉

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Kind of. I took some time to stand and soak up the sunshine this arvo, while mowing the lawn @Jynx the sun felt amazing.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury that totally counts! Vitamin D babeeeey!

I did the same today, tho minus the lawn mowing. That's tomorrow's task! If I have time before work and after the pet store.

Hmmm. That's Sunday's task! 😂

Weekend plans? Or you locked in assignment world?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I love the way the sun feels @Jynx

Saturday or Sunday, it doesn't matter. It will still be there for when you get to it.

I was up early this morning and didn't go to work today, so I got the assignment done and dusted. I don't have plans for the weekend, yet.

How's your week been?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury I know right!! Such wondrous warm energy 😊

Thanks for saying that, honestly it does help to hear 😁

Nice one!! You ought to give yourself a lil treat for finishing early! An ice cream or a trip to a nice cafe or something 🤔 Or maybe use the time to get out into nature!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

The sun's warmth and energy makes everything feel better for a moment @Jynx

Maybe. I'll play it by feel and see what happens.

I'm going to head to bed. Thank you for chatting with me tonight. Good night, my friend.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It so does @NightFury it is a lovely energy to bask in!

Nighty night hun, have good sleepies 😊

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme @Jynx @AuntGlow I'm sorry that I'm quiet and difficult to talk to. I'm sorry that I don't have the words, that I'm bringing the mood down here.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I am a recovering serial-apologiser @NightFury so I totally understand where you're coming from. Lemme know if this resonates - you care about us, and yet because of some of your self-perceptions, you worry that you are an unpleasant social experience for us, or perhaps a difficult part of our day or some such.

For me it was always part of that abandonment wound - 'if I keep going like this, eventually this will become too much for them and they will leave me, like everyone else'.

So lemme just throw you some evidence to give to that anxious part of you (the part that seems adamant on apologising to us for you know, just existing as you are).

- Perhaps you're not quiet, but introspective - I've seen you write very long posts that are full of ponderings, meaning, curiosity, you name it!

- I've never, ever found you difficult to talk to, even once.

- We don't expect you to always have the words, and I think that there's many parts of the human experience that can't be put into words - complex mental health seems to have a lot of them too. Sometimes we just have to make incomprehensible screeching noises because we are all animals and none of this makes any sense.

- The forums don't have a 'mood', I think they have MANY - social spaces for giggles and wholesome feels, sure, but the mood of this space is whatever you need it to be as far as I'm concerned. Like I love being silly but sometimes it's not the right response, not the right mood - and I want you to feel like you can tell me that and put that boundary in place so that you can feel safer engaging and opening up!

Hope you're able to catch some sun today too hun 😁

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