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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm thinking about you @NightFury . I know how hard this is for you. And I know you are doing your best. We are sitting with you.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme it's good to see you. Hope you are well, my friend?

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

If you crash, we will be here to catch you. 🥰 @NightFury

And you have your safety plan, which I would really encourage you turning to right now.

I am hopeful that things will shift for you, I believe they will. It will just take a little bit of adjusting.

I will make sure to check-in on you tomorrow. Sleep well. 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @AuntGlow

My day today...

It's 11 years today that I lost my Nan, tomorrow I say my final good byes to my Grandad.

I had my job interview today and it was positive. I feel a little guilty because something in my day was positive.

I was supposed to study tonight, but I haven't. Instead, I filled a bean bag cover with bean bag beans and I'm really enjoying being comfortable. I think little me needed that sense of comfort. I'm trying not to be mad at myself for not studying.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @NightFury,

I can imagine that the anniversary of your nan's death in conjunction with your grandfather's passing would feel really raw right now... please know that whatever you're feeling (or not feeling) is okay and allowed.

Speaking of, you're allowed to experience both grief and joy, but I understand why that may feel somewhat uncomfortable. Though, I am SO glad to hear your interview went well. What felt positive about it?

Um, study take a back seat please, we have a new bean bed in our house that needs our attention, thank you! 💅

hehe I love this. I really want one! That sounds so fun and soothing for your inner child. Where did you get it? 🤩

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I wasn't feeling much until the last hour or so @AuntGlow

I was on a bit of a high after my interview. It felt good. And then I was excited about the bean bag. I was just sitting watching TV and got hit with the anxious feelings. I had a warm shower, turned on my electric blanket and got into bed. The sadness hit me, and the tears started and then stopped as quickly as they started. My belly feels all knotty.

I liked that I was given the questions, and had fifteen minutes to take notes, jot down answers. Then when the interview started I had good, clear answers that made a lot of sense. It also felt good because I wasn't focusing on saying the "right" thing because I already had my answers prepared and I could just be myself.

It's so big and squishy.... I brought it online at Big W.

 

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm thinking of you today @NightFury. I hope you are getting to say a beautiful goodbye to your grandpa. 💛

Your feelings might be up and down for a little while, and I think that's a really normal part of processing grief and loss. That being said, I understand how overwhelming the rollercoaster of highs and lows can be. As always, we will be along for the ride with you.

Oh this made me smile SO much.This is honestly such a huge achievement. How did it feel to trust yourself in this way?

Okay, I am definitely getting a bean bag then. It's settled.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Do it! Get that bean bag!

I've just gotten home @AuntGlow and I feel really emotionally and physically drained.

It felt good to trust myself, to feel confident and at ease. Not second guessing myself and my words and wondering if my answers were "good enough."

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I hope you are able to do something really nourishing and nurturing for yourself this evening @NightFury. You have been through some big moments this week, so know that it's okay to go slow and gentle with yourself. 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

How are you managing @NightFury ?

Thinking about you.

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