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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you for your condolences, hugs and support. It really is appreciated.

@AuntGlow @Shaz51 @rav3n @Former-Member @tyme

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss @NightFury My thoughts are with you and your family

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you @Ru-bee

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yesterday was really tough @AuntGlow I felt really confused in a way...I didn't know how to be, how to feel, what to do.

We went into the hospital as a family to say our goodbyes, then gathered at my parents house and Dad read us two letters that Grandad had written to the family, that were to be open and read upon his passing. The letters were beautiful and about his take on the life he'd lived and how he was proud of us as his family.

I came home and kept busy, until I had my appointment with my new psychologist. She had me fill our screeners for neurodivergence. We talked a little about Grandad, a little about strategies to manage my anxiety, a little about acceptance.

After that...the grief hit and the tears came and I sat alone in my house and gave myself permission to feel it, to be in it. It wasn't comfortable, I tried to reach out here but deleted the post. They were the first tears I'd shed that day and I knew that I needed to let them happen. I took myself to bed early because sleep seemed like a good alternative to sitting alone in my house feeling swamped by emotion.

Today, I've decided to go to work. I don't know if it's a good decision or not, but I'd rather be doing something than sitting at home alone feeling sad, lonely and confused.

I feel kind of strange within myself. I had a fall in the middle of the night. Not really sure what happened. I'm okay. No injuries. But my legs didn't feel attached to my own body and I was in the shower this morning and it felt like I wasn't present in my own body. I felt like I was outside of it. Something like that hasn't happened before, that I can remember anyway.

We'll see how today goes.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury Sounds like yesterday has been really overwhelming and difficult for you and your family. It is lovely to hear the family gathered and read the letters from your Grandad together, so you can grieve together during this tough moment. I'm also glad to hear you have got some support from your psychologist yesterday to explore ways to manage anxiety and acceptance.

I can hear you have tried to keep yourself busy to distract yourself from feeling sad and lonely at home. It’s okay to give yourself sometime to grieve of losing your grandad. I hope you can be gentle and kind to yourself today, and the community is here holding a space to listen to you and support you.

Take care!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you @CalmOwl I am trying to be gentle and kind to myself and go with the flow of how I feel.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Sending condolences on your loss @NightFury Take your time and allow yourself to feel the feelings and take it easy on yourself. There is no timeline or "right" way to grieve. It's different for everyone. The people on the forums are here for you

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Thank you for your condolences @Till23 grief is hard and I feel very alone in it at the moment.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

I've just read about your loss. I send my sincere condolences to you and your family. I can see that this much be a very difficult time for you. Whilst you make feel quite disconnected from 'feeling', I'm mindful that this can change.

We are hear to stand beside you.

Hugs.

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