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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Can I admit something? @AuntGlow at the moment, I can't see the glimmers...and I don't have anything that feels like it gives me joy or makes me happy. And it worries me because I'm aware of it.

Don't take decor recommendations from me. All of my furniture is second hand and well used. When I moved to QLD, I sold absolutely everything and when I came home, I only had my Dog and what I could fit in my car. So, when I got this rental, I had to buy all new furniture on a limited budget. None of it matches, none of it is stylish or modern.

Talking about my Grandad has brought up some emotions. I'm sad. My heart is sad. And I'm scared - scared of losing him, scared of life without him, scared of the grief.

I look at my journal, it sits on my kitchen bench, and every day, I think about writing in it, but I never really do.

I've eaten some good food, because I've eaten badly over the last couple of days. So I had some veggies for dinner. I can try a shower if I need to. But at the moment chatting here, sitting in front of the fire and watching TV is helping me to feel supported.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

One thing that I wished my parents did for me @tyme was to help me see that it was okay for me to be feeling worried and anxious, and to have big feelings, rather than try to discipline me out of it. They did what they could and knew how to do. So, I get what you're saying and agree with it.

I've helped my brother with the twins, but I haven't had them on my own. They're pretty full on when they're together. I have a good relationship with the boy, he gives me lots of hugs and comes running at me when he sees me. I've always got a fidget for him and things he can use to keep his hands busy.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's amazing @NightFury . But yes, I know first hand how hard twins are, let alone twins and a 2 year old! Hectic!

I'm glad you help out.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I help out as much as I can @tyme

How was your weekend?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

That's like me helping out my sis with her 3 kids. They spend a lot of time with me. They listen to me more than their dad. They only listen to my sister and me. My sister is looking for an assistant principal job... i don't know why. @NightFury It's too hectic!

My weekend was okay. I feel relaxed and I feel I had time to slow down my brain which is good.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Assistant Principal is hectic. It's busy and hectic, but it's a good role for those who are good at organising and figuring out solutions to challenges. It's better pay too @tyme

I'm glad you had some time this weekend to relax and show down.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

And she only works 4 days. She likes the school she's at, but she doesn't like some of the people. @NightFury

I said to her it'd be hectic too, but she said she's already doing everything that an AP would....

IDK. It's up to her.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It is @tyme it is.

And logically, it's the next step for her career.

I've had a school leadership position. I did two years as AST - Advanced Skills Teacher. It was the principal, the assistant Principal and then me. I was enrolled in a pathways to principal, school leadership course through the Uni.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

And you don't want to pursue it, even later on? @NightFury

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

It's kind of complicated @tyme

It was the thing that pushed me over the edge into burn out.

And with burn out came a real...disconnection from teaching. I hated my job and how it made me feel, I cried every single morning before going to work.

I was so miserable, and I was S.

And, a couple of years later, I'm still trying to decide if I want to stay working as a teacher. I was job searching today.

I know within myself that I'm not made for a leadership position. I much prefer to be in the classroom with the kids, but I don't even know if I want to do that any more.

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