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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3920 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury could be sensory overwhelm? I dunno, or body flashbacks, I get those too. The former is like... everything is too much - lights, sounds, the tag of my shirt, the kitties meowing at me, all of it - I'm easily irritated, and I feel both restless and unable to actually do anything.

The latter is more of an emotional feeling, like an overwhelming (but usually familiar) feeling of sadness or melancholy, or sometimes grief and rage. But the point it that the emotions feel 'inappropriate' to what I'm thinking or doing.

I dunno, but sounds like you have already got stuff going to help you find your way back to regulation 😌 Good time for mindfulness maybe? Just focusing on the feeling of the heat from the fire, the rush of air on the inhale, the way the light might flicker from the flames, the way your muscles release as you exhale...

All feelings are chemicals, and all chemicals eventually get processed and worked through. You'll get there 😊💜

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx from your description - sensory overwhelm. My lips are dry, my skin is itchy, the tag on my PJ's is annoying me, I keep rubbing my forehead because it feels heavy, everything's too loud and my eyes are dry. I can't get comfortable or sit still.

But I get the other as well - the body flashbacks.

This is more sensory overwhelm where it's all just making my brain freak out a little.

I've just climbed into bed, hoping that bringing everything right down will help. Mindfulness might help too. Thank you for the suggestion.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx Today was a HUGE day. I woke up with lots of swirly thoughts...

I left home at 10.30 am to help my Mum set up for Grandad's party, and the party started at 1 pm. It was a lot. My Mum asked me to be the photographer, which also required to be more social and interact more than I normally would.

I saw people in my family that I haven't seen since I was a child, like my Grandad's brothers and their children. They're family members that we essentially don't have a lot to do with.

I also saw family members that...that have made things really difficult in the past, people that I am civil with, but not much else. I have a hard time forgiving and forgetting.

Then there was the awkward group of people no one knew, they were family members of my Grandfather's wife. And the horrible awkwardness between my Grandfather's wife and my family. She and my father had an argument a couple of days before the party.

I had to answer a lot of questions about why I left QLD and came home, why I left home in the first place and whether I enjoyed my time in QLD. I don't like talking about QLD, it's still too fresh and brings up big feelings and big memories. I don't want to share - I haven't even shared with my own family - so I never really know how to answer those questions.

Driving home I had flashbacks of the day that I drove out of the driveway in QLD to start my trip home.

Big day.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme how did you go this weekend? Did you tick some things off your to do list? How was your trip to the city?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury !

I didn't even have anything on my list today. I been pushing myself to maintain a healthy sleep routine. I'm tempted to have afternoon naps!

Um. I've got an assignment to do tonight that's due tomorrow.

So I'll do that after I clock off tonight.

What about you?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme it would have been kinda nice to have a day off from the to do list.

I've had a big weekend, so I'll list the things I've done this weekend....

- tidied and cleaned the house

- brought wood from the shed to the carport.

- folded two baskets of laundry

- worked on, finished and submitted my assignment

- did the groceries

- allowed myself a bit of a slower morning today.

- went down to help set up for my Grandad's 90th birthday celebration.

- attended my Grandad's birthday

- put diesel in my car for the week

- Picked up the dog poo

- brought more wood in from the shed to the carport.

- ordered another load of wood.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Way to go! What a day @NightFury !

Hope the birthday was good, and well done for completing and submitting your assignment!

Do you feel the weekend has revived you a bit? I'm mindful it's school tomorrow.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme my Grandad had a good time and he got a bit teary when giving a bit of a speech.

I think the weekend has left me feeling very tired. I could really use a gentler, less hectic day. I could use some rest. But...it's Monday tomorrow and it looks like we're hitting the ground running this week, with one of our 5/6 teacher team members out already.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Arghhhh... I hear you! As pleasant as the weekend was, I'm hearing that it's another big week coming up.

Do you have many sick days left you can take? @NightFury

In the past, I found that if I take a day or two off, then I can catch up on things and feel rejuvenated then. Otherwise I'm always catching my tail and that's NOT a nice feeling!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I have all my sick days.

I'm terrible at taking sick days even when I'm sick. Before I quit teaching in the public system, over 8 years, I'd only had three sick days.

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