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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3919 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury it can be like a floodgate opening hey - I know the feeling. I always feel pretty brittle afterwards too, so I hope that you've been able to find some quiet, gentle moments to nurture yourself. Oh and don't forget to rehydrate after crying 😅 I am a big cryer and I often forget!

I think it's incredible what you've been able to share, and similarly I'm also proud of you for being able to recognise when it's NOT feeling safe enough in your body to share! Being able to say 'hmm no that's too much for right now' and taking stuff out when you need to is something I struggle with at times, and I have overwhelmed myself in the past accidentally. Trust ya gut! When the time/place is right, you'll know - no need to force yourself!

I'm sorry to hear you had a tough one today. I would lose my patience too if I'd been sworn at. I hope tomorrow is better for ya. Much else on for tonight? Or is it feet up time? 😉

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx I am not a big crier. I hate it. I hate feeling so vulnerable. I just feel a bit raw today, a bit touchy.

I've just finished my first Guided Recovery counselling call, so I'm chewing over the thoughts from that while cooking dinner. I have a drawing to do for one of my students but I'm thinking that might need to wait. I'll pop the TV on in the background and not do too much else at all. I'm kind of finding some of the things the counsellor flagged as possible things to talk about...a little confronting.

She asked....I said it was okay to add them to the list because I know that I need to...I'm just going to find it challenging.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx @AuntGlow can I ask -

What's a Mental Health Plan? Is is possible to run me through step by step what it entails and what it means? What it would mean for me if I got one?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury yeah goes to show too far out of balance in either direction is no good - crying too much is pretty dysregulating when I need to like, get stuff done - like if I burst into tears when trying to sort out a bill or something 😅 But many of my loved ones are similar to you, and I see how hard it is for them as well. It's rough, to not always be able to get the emotions out and get that sense of relief.

Oh wow, I can imagine that to have been super intense! It's one thing to type it, another to talk about it hey. Definitely good to reduce the amount of other stuff pulling at your thoughts like the drawing and such, yeah.

Just remember that it is YOUR journey, and even when we know we need to do something, we still need to go at a pace that is safe. You are always allowed to say 'hey I'm getting overwhelmed, can we just talk about some lighter stuff for a bit?'

You got this, and we got you! 💜

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Former-Member thank you, appreciate you sharing.

@Jynx that saying...

"We got you..." means a lot. Thank you.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hello lovely @NightFury! Sorry it's taken me a bit to get back to you. I shall address the MHCP question first. In my experience, the GP will ask a few questions about why you may be needing support and then take you through a longer version of the K10 (just some standard scaling questions around your mood, nothing too personal). They may refer you from there to a local or online psychologist for 6 - 10 initial sessions that are bulk-billing or partially bulk-billing (depending on who you see). I would recommend doing a bit of your own research and finding a clinic near you that does a 'Matching Session', so that you can find the best fit for you. That is how I found my psychologist, and it helps to take the guess work out of things quite a bit!

I hope this info helps, let me know if you have any other questions. 💛

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow thank you.

I thought that knowing more about the process and what it entails would help me to feel less...blocked by the idea. I seem to find it challenging to do more than THINK about getting a GP at the moment.

No need to apologise. You guys have a lot going on.

In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury

Oh, wow... it sounds like you really met your threshold here. I am so sorry things got to this point for you, and of course they did - being sworn at isn't a nice experience at all. So you had a very valid reason for losing your patience. 💛

This sounds SO inspiring! I am sure they loved this class and I am really glad you had this moment to counteract the other one.

Are you doing anything nourishing for yourself tonight?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I cooked myself a good, nourishing dinner, so I hope that counts. I have the TV on, but not really watching it. I'm just trying to calm my anxiety a little so that I have a hope of getting better sleep. Bed soon, I think. It's been a big couple of days.

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