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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

3919 replies

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I'm doing okay. Work was kind of my focus today. I've been quiet...I've just kind of been processing I think. I feel like my emotions have kind of wiped me out a bit after yesterday.

I didn't sleep well. It took me ages to go to sleep, then I woke again at 11.30 ish and I woke again at 3.50 am. I stayed awake after that. I've just been thinking.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @NightFury I'm sorry you didn't get a good sleep last night. But hoping you really are doing OK.

Have you had your guided recovery session yet?

I don't like those early morning wakenings, which for me is around 4am.

I hope you get a better sleep tonight.

@AuntGlow I am in a bit of a slump, but won't say too much here on @NightFury thread, so they can have their own dedicated space. I have a thread on Not Good Enough

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 I'm just...I went to work, I did my teaching thing. I was a tad grumpy with the kids...I've just gotten home from work. I've popped my head in here a couple of times throughout the day and I just don't know what to say to others...so the best way to describe it is to say that I'm in my own space and I just feel...quiet.

I have my first counselling call this afternoon. I'm nervous.

I'm sorry to hear that you've hit a slump! And I hope that you're okay.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @NightFury if you want to be quiet then that's fine.

I can understand being nervous about your first session, but I spoke to someone at Sane a couple of years ago after my first cancer and they were great. We talked about CSA because memories etc of that were triggered by my cancer treatment.

Remember you are in the driver's seat, so can say as much or as little as you like.

I'll be here on and off this evening so if you want to chat I'd welcome that, but if you's rather not I'd understand that too.

Sending you good vibes for your first session

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Till23 thank you. I appreciate you being here and reaching out to me and thank you for the advice. I might reach out later tonight for a chat, let's see how it goes.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yes, of course, see how it goes @NightFury - that's the first step.

Might chat to you later - no pressure though. It's your space

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury hey hun!

First, I am impressed by how much you've shared in just the three days since we spoke about it! Kudos 😊

How has the experience been for you so far? I can imagine lots of Very Big Feels but also hopefully a sense of... lightness, or relief?

You mentioned you are new to this, the whole sharing of the feelings dealio - cos of that programming you also mentioned, being told it was 'attention seeking'. So this is even more of a huge step than I initially realised, wow! I feel privileged to be part of it, and would love to be here for you along this journey too 💜

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@NightFury Thank you for your reply, I am glad to hear you have been processing and that you are doing okay. Although, I am sorry to hear that sleep was hard to come by, I am sure you are rather exhausted at the moment... I hope you get better rest tonight. You are more than welcome to share what you have been thinking about here, but if that feels a little heavy, I would love to hear about one thing that made you feel good today? 🌞

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@Jynx I would love it if you were here with me through this too. I'm feeling quite...sensitive about not having a support network, not having anyone. It makes me feel so isolated. I'm doing this on my own! And already it's overwhelming and I've only just started this process.

I value the peer support workers here and the support they've given me, so very much.

I don't know, things just came out. Big feelings...I've been dealing with big feelings. I was a mess yesterday. I cried emotional, big tears.

Sharing here is hard, it's hard for me...period.

Edit - evidenced by the fact that I wrote a whole lot more here, then went and took it out. I'm learning how to navigate things here and how to take care of myself here in the process.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@AuntGlow I just saw your reply...or I would have included it when I replied to @Jynx...

It's been a tough work day. I was sworn at twice today and had a moment that wasn't my best teaching moment. I lost my patience.

We had electives today and I teach Comic Book Art for electives and I have a group of seven students. It's lovely to be able to spend time with them, getting to know them in a less formal setting. It was the best bit about my day.

101 - 110 of 3,919