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Talking through trauma and PTSD

Acceptance is hard work

Acceptance is hard work

Before I start, I just want to say…that I don’t feel comfortable in this space. It’s hard to be in the trauma and PTSD forum, but for me at the moment, I’m working through a level of acceptance.

I don’t have a diagnosis, I’ve never spoken to or seen a counsellor, or received any kind of mental health support. I have a very good friend who works in a healing space and has seen and experienced the impact my mental health and my triggers has on me. She has a lived experience of CPTSD and she knows a little of my story. She has helped me with resources and just by being a wonderful safe space for me to talk about what I’m experiencing. She suggested that perhaps, I could be experiencing the symptoms of CPTSD.

I completed a self-referral for the guided recovery program and have started that process. It has me straddling the line of acceptance. I have always had “anxiety” and have experienced panic attacks and flash backs and all of those good things. My first memories of my anxiety was when I was a teenager. But now, I accept that it isn’t entirely accurate.

My brain’s blocked out some of my memories of what happened to me. Logically, I know that it happened, but it was as if…if I couldn’t remember it all, then maybe I could live with doubt and maybe that doubt was permission to say…”you know what? Maybe It’s not real.” And if it didn’t really happen, then I don’t have CPTSD.

I will also acknowledge that I have been fairly avoidant with seeking help for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I don’t want to talk about/acknowledge that what happened, actually happened.

I’m in a space at the moment where I know that the first step for me is actually owning it and accepting it. But, that makes me feel very vulnerable, and the acceptance feels “slippery,” I can’t quite wrap my head around it, as if a part of me is protecting me from it, if that makes sense.

Last year, a friend (who is no longer a friend) told me in an argument that I use my anxiety “as an excuse” and maybe she’s right - but not in the context she meant it. I’ve used my anxiety as an excuse not to acknowledge that there’s something else behind it. Is acceptance something that you let happen organically as you move through life, and counselling and all the processes? Or is this something that you push yourself through, knowing that it’s an important step? How do you work through this process of arriving at acceptance on multiple levels?

@Jynx @rav3n @tyme and I don’t know who else to tag, I’m sorry.

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In response to: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work


@NightFury wrote:

@Jynx this is what I've slowly been working on when I need something to help keep my hands busy....

 


@NightFury SOOOO PRETTY!! eeee ty for sharing! Love the colours 😍

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hey @NightFury ,

How did you feel about the appointment?

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Hi @tyme how's your Saturday going?

I don't know. It was a lot and my brain's still trying to process it. It wasn't what I expected - and it got big quickly. It was kind of confronting in a way.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Is there anything you want to unpack here @NightFury ?

It sounds like it was pretty heavy. Sometimes, I found writing things down helpful - before and after sessions.

I just want to acknowledge that this was a big step for you, but well done on giving it a go!

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme I don't know whether you saw it, but I tagged you in some details about it, following the appointment last night. It's in the posts above. Just so that I'm not repeating myself.

It's a huge step, thank you for acknowledging it.

I didn't get a lot of sleep last night and I'm feeling pretty...low today. I've not managed to get much done today.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Sounds like a bit of a pandora's box being opened @NightFury . I've just read the posts above.

Sometimes, it may be good for a psych to share they are a little out of their depth - it doesn't mean you are 'too hard'. For example, I used to have 2 psychs at a time. I'd work on one with one psych and something completely different with another - this is because I know who is better at what. I benefitted from both, but in different ways.

Oh, and there are some psychs I don't agree with, but it doesn't mean I don't agree with EVERYTHING. So I tend to take what works and leave what doesn't. I wonder if there's something you can takeaway from this psych?

Also, I know he said you are pretty burnout from teaching... but then again, if you don't teach, you can't sustain yourself and then there are ripple effects on mental health... right?

So I see how hard things are.

Please know you are not alone. Stay connected hun. I look forward to the forums community being able to sit with you through this.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme the gremlins won't let me support posts today.

The take away - I learnt a lot, it's just that some of it is hard to sit with. It feels very much like I've been hit with the truth stick and have been made to confront things that I have been avoiding.

I don't sit comfortably with a few things - like maybe me feeling like I'm going to be too challenging, and once he told me it was "weird" that when I was out and about, I felt disconnected from everyone else because he goes out to feel connected with others. And the fact that he's not convinced that the meds aren't going to make things harder for me in terms of disconnecting from my emotions. And it might not be a matter of me just thinking I needed to adjust to them Maybe they're just points that make me feel a little vulnerable, or hit at something within me? And not necessarily what he said - maybe it's my reaction to what he said?

That is true If I don't teach, I can't sustain myself but it also goes deeper than that. If I don't teach, I don't know who I am.

I will try and stay connected tyme.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

I think that's important that you can come away and say that you've learnt a lot.

Now with each learning, is there an action from it?

When I used to have appointments, I would write down what I learnt then focus on the action until my next appointment, then report back on what I did. Sometimes, I feel they want to cram in as much as they can because sessions are so costly. You then have time to digest until your next appointment - but this is only my experience.

When I read your posts, it feels like you at at the stage where you are ready and able to make changes (even if the changes are hard) - please correct me if I'm wrong.

You will know in your gut whether this psych is a good fit for you.

I often say that change is hard. And if a sessions causes a change to happen, then it's bound to have some level of discomfort. But if the level of discomfort is way too much, then it's important to speak out because it can then be re-traumatising.

I believe in you @NightFury . I have full faith in you.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

@tyme An action? Well, I've been tasked with journalling every night. Just simple questions that are kinda hard for me (what am I feeling? Why am I feeling that way? What are my emotions trying to tell me?). He talked about exposure...and trying to expose myself to things that cause my anxiety...but he also thinks that I've reached my tolerance level there. He talked about maybe taking myself to a show, or an art group...or something like that.

He talked a lot about the fact that I use distractions as a way of avoidance, but not sure yet what to do with that, because sometimes, it's all I know how to do to keep myself safe.

I also did Smiling Minds in the early hours of this morning, for the first time in a couple of weeks. Kinda maybe see that as a positive.

I've also booked again for next month.

I am ready, but also tentative and maybe need to acknowledge that small steps are okay to.

In response to: Re: Acceptance is hard work

Re: Acceptance is hard work

Yes hun.. small steps are totally okay! @NightFury

I've still been doing Smiling Minds each night. Not sure of my streak at the moment. I haven't checked.

Out of everything he said, even if you take one element, that's okay. You don't need to do EVERYTHING. That would be too overwhelming!

Anyway, I'd better go and take these kiddos out. I'll see you next time I'm on. Feel free to share your goals for the rest of today, and/or tomorrrow, and I'll come back and check.

I'm going to take the kids out somewhere (park?), then maybe go out for dinner tonight? Not sure yet.

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