So apparently I should go to the hospital

@tyme,

Honestly not great my mother in law gets home tomorrow so I'm going to the hospital then unless i give into the voices in which case I'm going to be there whenever that happens. Honestly I feel like I'm heading towards a complete psychotic break between hallucinations, voices, paranoia, flash backs and sh

Hey @Twilightsomniac ,

I'm sorry to hear how hard things are.

I can't say I have lived experience of hearing voices, but I'm wondering if it's okay to give into the voices because I hear how draining things are.

When I mean 'give in to the voices, allow yourself to have the voices but for a set time. e.g. "I'm going to listen for 30 mins and no more".

What do you think?

@tyme,

TW: Self harm

Does listening to these voices mean you have do what they say? @Twilightsomniac

I'm only asking because I don't know; I hope you don't feel I'm challenging you.

It's okay @tyme I get it's difficult when you haven't experienced it yourself to understand.

So currently i can ignore/put up with the voices but I'm also very unstable right now so when the voices say if you do this you'll feel better or doing this will stop me seeing things i get to a point of desperation and do what they say. The more unstable the more likely i am to do what they tell me. And right now I've come close a few times today and I just don't think I can hold out much longer. I also use pain as a grounding tool when the grounding techniques don't work. But that also has its down side as i gradually build up a pain tolerance i have to find different sources of pain. Like my fractured toe which happened by accident isn't working anymore. I'm also really tired but it takes so much effort to fall asleep even after sedative tablets then I'm lucky to sleep for 3 hours. Realistically i could go to the hospital now but hubby will want to stay with me and I don't want to drag our 12 and 1 yr old boys out for hours till i get see and admitted. So that's why I am waiting till my mother in law gets back

Thank you for understanding that I'm no expert in this area @Twilightsomniac

I appreciate your honesty and your willingness to share what you are going through. It sounds incredibly tough.

At the same time, you have been so resilient and strong in holding on, even this long. I am glad to hear you will be going to the hospital when your mother in law gets back.

From this hospital visit, do you have particular goals or things you want to achieve from it?

@tyme I don't really know right now

So do you feel this stay will be to help stablise things a bit, or to get meds sorted, or for safety?

It's totally okay if you don't know.

For me, I've had so many hospital stays and I've found it's always good to know what you want to get out of the stay. @Twilightsomniac

Probably all of the above @tyme

That's fair to say @Twilightsomniac .

Is this a private stay or public?